You may have noticed that I have not been following my usual 'one-post-per-diem' rule for the last week. If you have, indeed, noticed that, to you, I say I'm sorry. As any good runner is want to do, I am resting both my legs and my wrists in these the final two weeks of the decade.
But, don't fret, dear readers! There is a light at the end of the running course. For, beginning on January 4, 2010, Runners Writer will be back and will be back rested and roaring to get 2010 off to an awesome beginning.
So, I want to wish all you runners out there a great holiday season. Stay warm on those outdoor runs. Stay safe on those dark early afternoon runs. But, most importantly....stay running!!
Happy New Years!!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Running Away From The Keebler Elf
Make no mistake about it, in terms of working out, there is nothing better than running. Like Joshua Jackson was forced to say "A Skull above any other" in his thrill-a-minute flick The Skulls, I am prone to say "Running above all else." I've tried the exercise bike and I hated it. I've tried the stairmaster and I hated it. I tried free weights and hated them no matter what weight. Try as I might, I can't seem to find the same discipline and the 'stick-with-it' attitude that I am easily able to muster for running when it comes to any other form of exercise. Oddly enough, few hobbies and interests I've had over my life have lasted more than a year and none have even come close to my fondness for running.
Unfortunately, through no fault of mine own, a few weeks ago, I began getting these pains in the meaty portion of my kneecaps which were causing my runs to be limited to something akin to slow hobbling and tripping on a treadmill for 15-20 minutes until I was in such agony that I was forced to stop altogether.
Sad and dejected after my last attempt to overcome the pain, I came limping home to the not-so-friendly mug of my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW. Clearly having absolutely no sympathy for her downed man, CVSW looked through my eyes to my soul and sternly said, "Mr. Petes, this is insane. Your body clearly needs to rest and you're not giving it what it needs!"
"But, my love," replied I trying to fight back the pain that was swelling within my legs, "I will become chubby should I fail to maintain my workout regimen. If I allow my body even one week's rest, you won't find me to be the handsome man you married. I will be more akin to a Keebler Elf!!"
"I'm sure I'd still find you as delicious as the products those cute little elves make. But, either way, Mr. Petes, I strongly encourage you to begin cross-training. Your body simply can't take all this running!"
"Cross...tra...cross-training?? You know I am of the Jewish faith! What would wearing a cross while running have to do with my body healing itself?"
As my wife began to inform me that cross-training had nothing to do with any religious practices but was merely a term referring to any sport or exercise that supplements your main sport, I became intrigued. Sure I had considered doing other exercises, but I had always assumed that would mean replacing running. With the prospect of merely supplementing my runs, I finally agreed to try that elliptical machine in my building's gym which I had never stepped foot on before.
It has now been two full weeks since I began doing the using the elliptical machine either before or after getting in my runs and, I have to admit, I have noticed that my runs have been greatly benefited.
My legs are not as tired, sore or tender as they used to be and I've found that I am enjoying running on treadmills more than I used to. Having done some interweb surfing on the benefits of cross-training, I have come to realize that supplementing one's primary exercise with additional exercises always helps balance my muscle groups, helps with my overall cardiovascular fitness levels and helps to cure any existing injuries caused by that primary exercise. The point might be an obvious one for all you fitness aficionados out there but cross-training has really helped my fitness acumen.
While I will never enjoy a sport more than I do running and while I'll devote more of my time to running than to anything else (exercise-wise), I have a feeling that cross-training will become a part of my daily workout routines. And, while I may not become a Keebler Elf anytime soon, I also have a feeling my dopeness pregnant wife will continue to find me delicious for many cross-training days to come!
Unfortunately, through no fault of mine own, a few weeks ago, I began getting these pains in the meaty portion of my kneecaps which were causing my runs to be limited to something akin to slow hobbling and tripping on a treadmill for 15-20 minutes until I was in such agony that I was forced to stop altogether.
Sad and dejected after my last attempt to overcome the pain, I came limping home to the not-so-friendly mug of my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW. Clearly having absolutely no sympathy for her downed man, CVSW looked through my eyes to my soul and sternly said, "Mr. Petes, this is insane. Your body clearly needs to rest and you're not giving it what it needs!"
"But, my love," replied I trying to fight back the pain that was swelling within my legs, "I will become chubby should I fail to maintain my workout regimen. If I allow my body even one week's rest, you won't find me to be the handsome man you married. I will be more akin to a Keebler Elf!!"
"I'm sure I'd still find you as delicious as the products those cute little elves make. But, either way, Mr. Petes, I strongly encourage you to begin cross-training. Your body simply can't take all this running!"
"Cross...tra...cross-training?? You know I am of the Jewish faith! What would wearing a cross while running have to do with my body healing itself?"
As my wife began to inform me that cross-training had nothing to do with any religious practices but was merely a term referring to any sport or exercise that supplements your main sport, I became intrigued. Sure I had considered doing other exercises, but I had always assumed that would mean replacing running. With the prospect of merely supplementing my runs, I finally agreed to try that elliptical machine in my building's gym which I had never stepped foot on before.
It has now been two full weeks since I began doing the using the elliptical machine either before or after getting in my runs and, I have to admit, I have noticed that my runs have been greatly benefited.
My legs are not as tired, sore or tender as they used to be and I've found that I am enjoying running on treadmills more than I used to. Having done some interweb surfing on the benefits of cross-training, I have come to realize that supplementing one's primary exercise with additional exercises always helps balance my muscle groups, helps with my overall cardiovascular fitness levels and helps to cure any existing injuries caused by that primary exercise. The point might be an obvious one for all you fitness aficionados out there but cross-training has really helped my fitness acumen.While I will never enjoy a sport more than I do running and while I'll devote more of my time to running than to anything else (exercise-wise), I have a feeling that cross-training will become a part of my daily workout routines. And, while I may not become a Keebler Elf anytime soon, I also have a feeling my dopeness pregnant wife will continue to find me delicious for many cross-training days to come!
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Third One Isn't Such A Charm
Despite the wishes/rants/tirades/pleas/etc...of, among others, my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW, T,H,E K,I,D and The Gull, I continue to fit in three workouts per day and have done so for as long as I can remember. Like one's own children, I cannot chose one workout that I enjoy better than the others and each one provides certain benefits that the others do not.
My morning workout provides a great jump-start to the day ahead. It wakes me up in a way that a shower can't and gives me a good dose of energy to deal with the tasks that may come up throughout the workday. My afternoon workout is a healthier (though, probably, healthiest were it not for the other two workouts in my day) alternative to filling up on lunch foods and doesn't come with the typical late afternoon food coma brought on by a hearty lunch. My after-work workout provides a great way to de-stress from the hectic days that are so typical in New York employee life and provides some down time to separate my work-life from my domestic like.
So, while many say that my workout regimen verges on obsession, as you can see, I derive many different benefits from each workout throughout the day.
However, I have noticed that my actual productivity (miles run, for instance) does change based on the time of day in which my workout is taking place. For the most part, I have found that I am at my
peak performance during my afternoon workout and I tend to be more sluggish during my evening session. My theory for why this is so is as follows: As my morning workout follows my waking for the day by a half hour or so, my body is still in its REM-state and thus not particularly well prepared for a workout. By lunch, my body is fully awake, my body is free from any soreness I had when I woke up (probably helped by the morning workout) and I am as prepared as I can be to get in a workout. By early evening, my body is tired from the day that just ended (probably also exacerbated by waking up so early for the morning workout), my muscles are achy from the two already completed workouts and my mind is already preparing for a restful night of slumber.
So, in the end, I'd have to say my body is at its best during the lunchtime hour.
As it turns out, however, it would seem that my conclusion flies in the face of scientific research which has shown that, in general, the early evening is the time in which the body can produce the best and in which one can expect to get the best workout. In her December 10th article, Ready To Exercise? Check Your Watch, in the New York Times, Gina Kolata writes that, "not only are performances better in the late afternoon and early evening, but, contrary to what exercise physiologists would predict, heart rates are also higher for the same effort". Citing Michael H. Smolensky, an expert in chronobiology, the study of the body clock, as well as a host of studies done at the Research Institute for Sport and Exercise Sciences at Liverpool John Moores University in England, Kolata reasons that "If you exercise later in the day, your muscles are more flexible and stronger and your heart and lungs are more efficient."
Given that, by the early evening, my legs have already propelled my body anywhere from 6-12 miles, it's hardly surprising that I would find my third and final workout of the day to be my lest beneficial from a performance perspective. Were I to follow a normal workout routine and only workout, say, in the early evening, I have no doubt that my performance would be in line with the results cited in Kolata's article. But, one workout would not be sufficient to balance out my candy-based diet and, no matter how effective that one workout is, my body would soon have me looking more like the Pillsbury Doughboy rather than the handsome surprisingly-thin-for-all-the-candy-he-eats fellow I am today.
But, being someone who is always open to trying new things, maybe I'll try moving my morning and afternoon workouts to the early evening and get my three workouts in during the time when experts say is the best for the body. Maybe then, I'll can move from a 90% sugar-based diet to a full and complete 100% one!! The idea itself sounds incredibly sweet to me!
My morning workout provides a great jump-start to the day ahead. It wakes me up in a way that a shower can't and gives me a good dose of energy to deal with the tasks that may come up throughout the workday. My afternoon workout is a healthier (though, probably, healthiest were it not for the other two workouts in my day) alternative to filling up on lunch foods and doesn't come with the typical late afternoon food coma brought on by a hearty lunch. My after-work workout provides a great way to de-stress from the hectic days that are so typical in New York employee life and provides some down time to separate my work-life from my domestic like.
So, while many say that my workout regimen verges on obsession, as you can see, I derive many different benefits from each workout throughout the day.
However, I have noticed that my actual productivity (miles run, for instance) does change based on the time of day in which my workout is taking place. For the most part, I have found that I am at my
peak performance during my afternoon workout and I tend to be more sluggish during my evening session. My theory for why this is so is as follows: As my morning workout follows my waking for the day by a half hour or so, my body is still in its REM-state and thus not particularly well prepared for a workout. By lunch, my body is fully awake, my body is free from any soreness I had when I woke up (probably helped by the morning workout) and I am as prepared as I can be to get in a workout. By early evening, my body is tired from the day that just ended (probably also exacerbated by waking up so early for the morning workout), my muscles are achy from the two already completed workouts and my mind is already preparing for a restful night of slumber. So, in the end, I'd have to say my body is at its best during the lunchtime hour.
As it turns out, however, it would seem that my conclusion flies in the face of scientific research which has shown that, in general, the early evening is the time in which the body can produce the best and in which one can expect to get the best workout. In her December 10th article, Ready To Exercise? Check Your Watch, in the New York Times, Gina Kolata writes that, "not only are performances better in the late afternoon and early evening, but, contrary to what exercise physiologists would predict, heart rates are also higher for the same effort". Citing Michael H. Smolensky, an expert in chronobiology, the study of the body clock, as well as a host of studies done at the Research Institute for Sport and Exercise Sciences at Liverpool John Moores University in England, Kolata reasons that "If you exercise later in the day, your muscles are more flexible and stronger and your heart and lungs are more efficient."
Given that, by the early evening, my legs have already propelled my body anywhere from 6-12 miles, it's hardly surprising that I would find my third and final workout of the day to be my lest beneficial from a performance perspective. Were I to follow a normal workout routine and only workout, say, in the early evening, I have no doubt that my performance would be in line with the results cited in Kolata's article. But, one workout would not be sufficient to balance out my candy-based diet and, no matter how effective that one workout is, my body would soon have me looking more like the Pillsbury Doughboy rather than the handsome surprisingly-thin-for-all-the-candy-he-eats fellow I am today.
But, being someone who is always open to trying new things, maybe I'll try moving my morning and afternoon workouts to the early evening and get my three workouts in during the time when experts say is the best for the body. Maybe then, I'll can move from a 90% sugar-based diet to a full and complete 100% one!! The idea itself sounds incredibly sweet to me!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Extra, Extra, Run All About It: The Week In Running: 12/06-12/13
Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:
* As reported on Examiner.com on December 7th, while she may have already won American Idol, Carrie Underwood has now also become my idol. Discussing how she has lost 20 pounds since winning America's biggest singing competition, Underwood told an interviewer that she followed a "low-calorie, vegetarian diet....and running on a treadmill." Had I know Underwood is a fan of the treadmill, I certainly would have probably voted for her in the final on Idol!
* As reported on HuffingtonPost.com on December 10th, in 2010 runway models may not have to worry so much about what they're eating in order to maintain their anorexic-chic figures. Why? Because they'll be able to exercise even during their walk down the catwalk! This past Thursday, Ralph Lauren's collegiate line Rugby hosted a fashion show that may point to the future of shows for the entire industry. Rather than spend the $1.5 million that is the industry's average cost per fashion show, Rugby, for $50,000, live-streamed their fashion show online where the models were walking not down a runway but rather on a treadmill with a green screen behind them. "Once the whole clip is produced, a virtual backdrop will be superimposed behind the models so that they look like they are walking through New York City, or a college campus, or jumping off of flying books..." said David Lauren Polo Ralph Lauren's marketing chief. As an avid treadmill user, I wonder what speed and incline the treadmills were set to and, more importantly, whether the models were wearing the typical fashionable stilettos or running sneakers!
* As reported on FitSugar.com on December 11th, while some may question her mental fitness for having married crazy-scientologist Tom Cruise, nobody can question Nicole Kidman's psychical fitness....since it's in her genes! Having been seen in London frequenting spinning classes and fitness centers, Kidman attributed her fitness prowess to her father, telling an interviewer, ""It’s what my dad taught us — he’s a marathon runner. He’s 71 and goes on 10-mile runs." It seems that Nicole Kidman and I have much in common....we both love running and we both hate Tom Cruise!
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Next Weekend's Marathons
Saturday, December 19th
Christmas Marathon (Olympia, WA)
Florida Marathon (Clermont, FL)
Sunday, December 20th
Jacksonville Bank Jacksonville Marathon (Jacksonville, FL)
* As reported on Examiner.com on December 7th, while she may have already won American Idol, Carrie Underwood has now also become my idol. Discussing how she has lost 20 pounds since winning America's biggest singing competition, Underwood told an interviewer that she followed a "low-calorie, vegetarian diet....and running on a treadmill." Had I know Underwood is a fan of the treadmill, I certainly would have probably voted for her in the final on Idol!
* As reported on HuffingtonPost.com on December 10th, in 2010 runway models may not have to worry so much about what they're eating in order to maintain their anorexic-chic figures. Why? Because they'll be able to exercise even during their walk down the catwalk! This past Thursday, Ralph Lauren's collegiate line Rugby hosted a fashion show that may point to the future of shows for the entire industry. Rather than spend the $1.5 million that is the industry's average cost per fashion show, Rugby, for $50,000, live-streamed their fashion show online where the models were walking not down a runway but rather on a treadmill with a green screen behind them. "Once the whole clip is produced, a virtual backdrop will be superimposed behind the models so that they look like they are walking through New York City, or a college campus, or jumping off of flying books..." said David Lauren Polo Ralph Lauren's marketing chief. As an avid treadmill user, I wonder what speed and incline the treadmills were set to and, more importantly, whether the models were wearing the typical fashionable stilettos or running sneakers!
* As reported on FitSugar.com on December 11th, while some may question her mental fitness for having married crazy-scientologist Tom Cruise, nobody can question Nicole Kidman's psychical fitness....since it's in her genes! Having been seen in London frequenting spinning classes and fitness centers, Kidman attributed her fitness prowess to her father, telling an interviewer, ""It’s what my dad taught us — he’s a marathon runner. He’s 71 and goes on 10-mile runs." It seems that Nicole Kidman and I have much in common....we both love running and we both hate Tom Cruise!
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Next Weekend's Marathons
Saturday, December 19th
Christmas Marathon (Olympia, WA)
Florida Marathon (Clermont, FL)
Sunday, December 20th
Jacksonville Bank Jacksonville Marathon (Jacksonville, FL)
Friday, December 11, 2009
The Scents Of A Playwright
Yesterday, after arriving back at my two-walled office from an excellent workout in the Equinox in my employer's 
office building's lobby, my professional work colleague and the fellow whose two-walled office abuts mine own suddenly stood up and, raising his head at a 45-degree angle to the ceiling, began sniffing the air. As my co-worker, who by the way is a big fan of literary masterpieces dating back to Billy Shakespeare's time and will oftentimes begin speaking as if we were living in Old England, slowly began lowering his head and started looking my way, I was worried that he was about to perform one of the many daily soliloquies that he's become famous for.
"I say, Employee Petes, whatever are those odoriferous emanations I detect in these environs? I am reminded of an epoch many fortnights completed when I was but a young whippersnapper not older than a tadpole."
Rolling my eyes but used to this sophistry, I looked at my pal and said, "Are you asking what that smell is?"
"Indubitably and most-assuredly!"
"I smell nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe it's your mangy beard that is giving off a foul smell?"
"By no means, by no means indeed. It is more similar to a pomelo*. Aye, like a pamplemousse** in the summertide saturated with a dollop of lavender. A pleasant perfume, to be sure, but one I am unaccustomed to."
Unable to take my co-worker for any more than a dollop of time, I picked up the phone and pretended to be on an important phone call for the rest of the day. Finally left in silence, I began to ponder exactly what had happened today. After a little reflection, I suddenly realized what was giving off the scents that had been picked up by pseudo-Shakespeare on the other side of the wall.
Of course!!
It was only a few days ago that my Equinox gym replaced the industrial soaps and shampoos in the men's locker room with the sweet smelling products Kiehls has become famous for. Instead of bland and odorless body scrub, I can now lather up in grapefruit soaps and lavender shampoos. While a minor change to many, it came as a welcome one to me.
Even before Equinox began using Kiehls products in the locker rooms, I had nothing but praise for the fitness establishment. It is a perfect way for me to pass the lunchtime hour and allows me to continue with my insane 2-3-a-day workouts whilst being a productive employee. The change to Kiehl's is just icing on the cake. Or, as some would say, a grapefruit to the sweet-smelling basket of fruits!
* note to reader: pomelo is another word for grapefruit
** note to reader: pamplemousse is french for grapefruit
office building's lobby, my professional work colleague and the fellow whose two-walled office abuts mine own suddenly stood up and, raising his head at a 45-degree angle to the ceiling, began sniffing the air. As my co-worker, who by the way is a big fan of literary masterpieces dating back to Billy Shakespeare's time and will oftentimes begin speaking as if we were living in Old England, slowly began lowering his head and started looking my way, I was worried that he was about to perform one of the many daily soliloquies that he's become famous for."I say, Employee Petes, whatever are those odoriferous emanations I detect in these environs? I am reminded of an epoch many fortnights completed when I was but a young whippersnapper not older than a tadpole."
Rolling my eyes but used to this sophistry, I looked at my pal and said, "Are you asking what that smell is?"
"Indubitably and most-assuredly!"
"I smell nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe it's your mangy beard that is giving off a foul smell?"
"By no means, by no means indeed. It is more similar to a pomelo*. Aye, like a pamplemousse** in the summertide saturated with a dollop of lavender. A pleasant perfume, to be sure, but one I am unaccustomed to."
Unable to take my co-worker for any more than a dollop of time, I picked up the phone and pretended to be on an important phone call for the rest of the day. Finally left in silence, I began to ponder exactly what had happened today. After a little reflection, I suddenly realized what was giving off the scents that had been picked up by pseudo-Shakespeare on the other side of the wall.
Of course!!
It was only a few days ago that my Equinox gym replaced the industrial soaps and shampoos in the men's locker room with the sweet smelling products Kiehls has become famous for. Instead of bland and odorless body scrub, I can now lather up in grapefruit soaps and lavender shampoos. While a minor change to many, it came as a welcome one to me.
Even before Equinox began using Kiehls products in the locker rooms, I had nothing but praise for the fitness establishment. It is a perfect way for me to pass the lunchtime hour and allows me to continue with my insane 2-3-a-day workouts whilst being a productive employee. The change to Kiehl's is just icing on the cake. Or, as some would say, a grapefruit to the sweet-smelling basket of fruits!
* note to reader: pomelo is another word for grapefruit
** note to reader: pamplemousse is french for grapefruit
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Marketing Genius
Dear Santa,
I must hand it to you, big guy, you truly are a genius. I'm not even referring to the fact that you were somehow able to break the laws of physics and engineer reindeer who can fly. Nor am I referring to the fact that you've not only convinced millions of families that it's ok for you to break into their houses late at night unsupervised but even gotten most of them to leave some delicious treats for you should you get tired whilst snooping around.
No, I'm referring to the fact that you've been able to buck the recent economic trends of the times and, while most people are conserving money and spending on only the most important of items, the lists of gifts children are desirous of this Christmas season continues to grow and grow and grow.
A thin man you are not. In good shape, not even close. But, a marketing genius? No doubt about that one, Santa!
In a time when socks double for gloves, vacations are a thing of fantasy and appetizers are a luxury, you've managed to get parents waiting on lines in the bitter cold for the chance to buy the newest Barbie doll, GI Joe action figure or the latest Nintendo video game.
And, you've done a very thorough job as well! Probably realizing that there were more profits to be had, you
extended your influence well past little children. You wisely must have acknowledged the conspicuous spending habits of us runners as well. Always seeing us in different colored clothes, different patterned running shoes and the latest and greatest in running technology, you've tapped a not-tapped-enough niche of consumers who are only too easily convinced that luxuries are necessities and more is better than less.
With articles such as Wearable High-Tech Devices Monitor Fitness in the New York Times and countless 'what to get runners for Christmas' lists similar in content to one published by the Mercury News that offers numerous, unnecessary and, oftentimes, expensive running accouterments, how can one possibly argue for anything other than your genius.
But, while you belly may be large and your scope of influence even larger, you have not been able to keep pace with me!
You see, Santa, it was no more than a week ago when my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW asked me what it was that I hoped you would bring me for Christmas. Seeing the worry in my love's face at the prospect of my having been influenced by all the enticing promotional materials to be wanting of expensive goods, I patter her on her head and told her, "Don't worry my love...my mind, like my runner's legs, is as hard as a rock. I am incorruptible to those who tell me I need things that I don't."
"Oh, phewwww, Mr. Petes! That makes me a-so happy! So can I assume that my love is a sufficient (and economically efficient) present to get you?"
"Sure...let's agree that our mutual love for one another will be our presents to each other! Not only does that save us some money but it also saves me from having to think of what to get you!"
From the angered look on her face, it was safe to assume that, while her love was enough for me, my love was not an equal substitution for all the goods that CVSW was hoping Santa would lay upon her.
Realizing this, I thought about what I wanted/needed and, as a serious runner, came up with some ideas that only true runners can understand the value of. "My love," spoketh I, "Nevermind all those running gadgets and nevermind all the high-tech clothes. What I really would love (and what I actually really need) are more pairs of socks and spandex underwears."
You see, dear readers, at the end of the day and despite all the technology that seems to argue differently, running is so great because it's so simple. While most people wouldn't think to ask for socks and underwear for presents, any true runner should be so lucky to receive the very necessities which facilitate running in the first place.
And so, late at night on Christmas Eve or early in the morning on Christmas day, as I hear the fading sounds of 'Ho, Ho, Ho,' I'll smile to myself knowing that, while Santa may be laughing at all the suckers who bought into his marketing campaign, I was able to see past Santa's finish line!
I must hand it to you, big guy, you truly are a genius. I'm not even referring to the fact that you were somehow able to break the laws of physics and engineer reindeer who can fly. Nor am I referring to the fact that you've not only convinced millions of families that it's ok for you to break into their houses late at night unsupervised but even gotten most of them to leave some delicious treats for you should you get tired whilst snooping around.
No, I'm referring to the fact that you've been able to buck the recent economic trends of the times and, while most people are conserving money and spending on only the most important of items, the lists of gifts children are desirous of this Christmas season continues to grow and grow and grow.
A thin man you are not. In good shape, not even close. But, a marketing genius? No doubt about that one, Santa!
In a time when socks double for gloves, vacations are a thing of fantasy and appetizers are a luxury, you've managed to get parents waiting on lines in the bitter cold for the chance to buy the newest Barbie doll, GI Joe action figure or the latest Nintendo video game.
And, you've done a very thorough job as well! Probably realizing that there were more profits to be had, you
extended your influence well past little children. You wisely must have acknowledged the conspicuous spending habits of us runners as well. Always seeing us in different colored clothes, different patterned running shoes and the latest and greatest in running technology, you've tapped a not-tapped-enough niche of consumers who are only too easily convinced that luxuries are necessities and more is better than less.With articles such as Wearable High-Tech Devices Monitor Fitness in the New York Times and countless 'what to get runners for Christmas' lists similar in content to one published by the Mercury News that offers numerous, unnecessary and, oftentimes, expensive running accouterments, how can one possibly argue for anything other than your genius.
But, while you belly may be large and your scope of influence even larger, you have not been able to keep pace with me!
You see, Santa, it was no more than a week ago when my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW asked me what it was that I hoped you would bring me for Christmas. Seeing the worry in my love's face at the prospect of my having been influenced by all the enticing promotional materials to be wanting of expensive goods, I patter her on her head and told her, "Don't worry my love...my mind, like my runner's legs, is as hard as a rock. I am incorruptible to those who tell me I need things that I don't."
"Oh, phewwww, Mr. Petes! That makes me a-so happy! So can I assume that my love is a sufficient (and economically efficient) present to get you?"
"Sure...let's agree that our mutual love for one another will be our presents to each other! Not only does that save us some money but it also saves me from having to think of what to get you!"
From the angered look on her face, it was safe to assume that, while her love was enough for me, my love was not an equal substitution for all the goods that CVSW was hoping Santa would lay upon her.
Realizing this, I thought about what I wanted/needed and, as a serious runner, came up with some ideas that only true runners can understand the value of. "My love," spoketh I, "Nevermind all those running gadgets and nevermind all the high-tech clothes. What I really would love (and what I actually really need) are more pairs of socks and spandex underwears."
You see, dear readers, at the end of the day and despite all the technology that seems to argue differently, running is so great because it's so simple. While most people wouldn't think to ask for socks and underwear for presents, any true runner should be so lucky to receive the very necessities which facilitate running in the first place.
And so, late at night on Christmas Eve or early in the morning on Christmas day, as I hear the fading sounds of 'Ho, Ho, Ho,' I'll smile to myself knowing that, while Santa may be laughing at all the suckers who bought into his marketing campaign, I was able to see past Santa's finish line!
Monday, December 7, 2009
The Naked Truth
Good advice can come in all shapes and sizes. It can come directly (told to you) or indirectly (you overhear it) and can come when you need it the most or when you're not even looking for it. It can come from sources you'd expect or, as I learned last week, it can come in places and situations you'd least expect.
Arriving at the Equinox gym in the lobby of my awesome job's office building, I was changing into my running clothes and was not expecting to hear any useful advice in the fairly empty gym locker room. As I was was in the final stages of getting ready, two dudes turned the corner from the showers and were in mid-conversation as they opened their respective lockers on either side of mine.
Of all the locker I could have chosen, of course I had to pick the one in between ones being used by the most annoying of all locker room users: the unabashed in their nakedness members!
For anyone who has ever been in a locker room with showers before, you know exactly who I'm talking about. Those people who prance around the locker room bearing themselves to everyone else's horror and uncomfortableness. Without any trace of modesty nor any trace of clothing at all, they'll have phone conversations, style their hair, read a magazine or some other act all the while disregarding the fact that they're butt naked.
Anyways, like a horse with blinders on, I made all effort to keep my gaze centered in front of me, lest I come face to face with the genitalia of either one of these two fellows who were speaking about their soreness due to some bike race they had each competed in the previous weekend.
Despite my extreme haste in trying to wedge myself away from the naked barriers that flanked me from the left and
the right, I did manage to pick up a tidbit of the conversation which gave me a pause (though the pause came after I was free from the confines of the locker room). In response to one of the fellas noting that he was taking a few days off from biking to allow his body to heal, his naked compatriot said, "Dude, if I waited until my body was fully healed from exerting itself, I would never workout again. If the pain is bearable instead of being acute enough to render my legs useless, I'll just deal with the pain..."
Later that day after I had returned to my two-walled office and was surrounded by clothed civilians, I thought back to what I had heard in the gym. I had to admit that the naked man's rationale was eerily similar to papa's tough love which he has been preaching for as long as I can remember. It is a rationale that I whole-heartedly subscribe to. It is a rationale rooted in the theory of mind over body.
I don't think myself above taking advice from others. In a world so full of useful information, one is lucky to receive as much as possible in any way they can. Despite this, I truly hope that next time I am given some advice, it will be from a clothed individual!
Arriving at the Equinox gym in the lobby of my awesome job's office building, I was changing into my running clothes and was not expecting to hear any useful advice in the fairly empty gym locker room. As I was was in the final stages of getting ready, two dudes turned the corner from the showers and were in mid-conversation as they opened their respective lockers on either side of mine.
Of all the locker I could have chosen, of course I had to pick the one in between ones being used by the most annoying of all locker room users: the unabashed in their nakedness members!
For anyone who has ever been in a locker room with showers before, you know exactly who I'm talking about. Those people who prance around the locker room bearing themselves to everyone else's horror and uncomfortableness. Without any trace of modesty nor any trace of clothing at all, they'll have phone conversations, style their hair, read a magazine or some other act all the while disregarding the fact that they're butt naked.
Anyways, like a horse with blinders on, I made all effort to keep my gaze centered in front of me, lest I come face to face with the genitalia of either one of these two fellows who were speaking about their soreness due to some bike race they had each competed in the previous weekend.
Despite my extreme haste in trying to wedge myself away from the naked barriers that flanked me from the left and
the right, I did manage to pick up a tidbit of the conversation which gave me a pause (though the pause came after I was free from the confines of the locker room). In response to one of the fellas noting that he was taking a few days off from biking to allow his body to heal, his naked compatriot said, "Dude, if I waited until my body was fully healed from exerting itself, I would never workout again. If the pain is bearable instead of being acute enough to render my legs useless, I'll just deal with the pain..."Later that day after I had returned to my two-walled office and was surrounded by clothed civilians, I thought back to what I had heard in the gym. I had to admit that the naked man's rationale was eerily similar to papa's tough love which he has been preaching for as long as I can remember. It is a rationale that I whole-heartedly subscribe to. It is a rationale rooted in the theory of mind over body.
I don't think myself above taking advice from others. In a world so full of useful information, one is lucky to receive as much as possible in any way they can. Despite this, I truly hope that next time I am given some advice, it will be from a clothed individual!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Extra, Extra, Run All About It: The Week In Running: 11/29-12/06
Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:
* As reported on PE.com (Southern California) on November 29, despite the horribly unfortunate spate of deaths in recent marathons, research indicates that, historically, very few people run (no pun intended) the risk of death while preparing for, and running of, a marathon or any other similar long-distance race. In addition to a 2007 University of Toronto study which found 26 runner deaths after studying 3.3 million runners in 750 marathons held during a 30-year period (a risk of death of 0.8 per 100,000 runners) and a recent study from Duke University which found that aerobic exercise, such as running, without a change in diet can improve people's health and affect levels of good and bad cholesterol and insulin resistance, a May study out of the University of Manitoba in Canada reported at a San Diego found that cardiac abnormalities experienced by some marathoners after races are temporary and that those abnormalities don't damage the heart.
* As reported on Celebrity-Gossip.net on November 30, 2009, Keeping Up With Kim Kardashian may be harder than simply turning into her reality television show. Using the on-line service, Twitter, Kim Kardashian tweeted to all her fans on Thanksgiving last week that, just because her family's Thanksgiving feast was cooking in the oven, there's 'no excuse for getting lazy during the holidays' and that she was planning on hitting the treadmill right up until her family sat for dinner. Just like her boyfriend Reggie Bush's football team, The New Orlean Saints, it appears that Kim Kardashian is running away from the competition despite not actually going anywhere (since, obviously, one never moves forward whilst running on a treadmill)!
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Next Weekend's Marathons
Saturday, December 12th
Charlotte's Thunder Road Marathon (Charlotte, NC)
Kiawah Island Marathon (Kiawah Island, SC)
Rocket City Marathon (Huntsville, AL)
Roxbury Marathon (Roxbury, CT)
Sunday, December 13th
NexBank Dallas White Rock Marathon (Dallas, TX)
Honolulu Marathon (Honolulu, HI)
Holualoa Tuscon Marathon (Oracle, AZ)
* As reported on PE.com (Southern California) on November 29, despite the horribly unfortunate spate of deaths in recent marathons, research indicates that, historically, very few people run (no pun intended) the risk of death while preparing for, and running of, a marathon or any other similar long-distance race. In addition to a 2007 University of Toronto study which found 26 runner deaths after studying 3.3 million runners in 750 marathons held during a 30-year period (a risk of death of 0.8 per 100,000 runners) and a recent study from Duke University which found that aerobic exercise, such as running, without a change in diet can improve people's health and affect levels of good and bad cholesterol and insulin resistance, a May study out of the University of Manitoba in Canada reported at a San Diego found that cardiac abnormalities experienced by some marathoners after races are temporary and that those abnormalities don't damage the heart.
* As reported on Celebrity-Gossip.net on November 30, 2009, Keeping Up With Kim Kardashian may be harder than simply turning into her reality television show. Using the on-line service, Twitter, Kim Kardashian tweeted to all her fans on Thanksgiving last week that, just because her family's Thanksgiving feast was cooking in the oven, there's 'no excuse for getting lazy during the holidays' and that she was planning on hitting the treadmill right up until her family sat for dinner. Just like her boyfriend Reggie Bush's football team, The New Orlean Saints, it appears that Kim Kardashian is running away from the competition despite not actually going anywhere (since, obviously, one never moves forward whilst running on a treadmill)!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Weekend's Marathons
Saturday, December 12th
Charlotte's Thunder Road Marathon (Charlotte, NC)
Kiawah Island Marathon (Kiawah Island, SC)
Rocket City Marathon (Huntsville, AL)
Roxbury Marathon (Roxbury, CT)
Sunday, December 13th
NexBank Dallas White Rock Marathon (Dallas, TX)
Honolulu Marathon (Honolulu, HI)
Holualoa Tuscon Marathon (Oracle, AZ)
Friday, December 4, 2009
I'D Like To Thank...
I crossed out the words 'mother and father' and inserted 'parents' instead.
Looking in the mirror, I began again, "I'd like to thank my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW, my parents,T,H, E K,I..."
"Mr. Petes, what in the world are you doing?"
I turned around to see the still half-asleep visage of my wife, who, even in her tired-state, looked beautiful....and full of rage towards me for having woken her up.
"I'm just practicing my acceptance speech, my love" replied I, ever so slowly backing away so my body would be unreachable by CVSW's fists. "Runners World Magazine is announcing their 2009 'Best Of Running Awards' today in their December magazine. I'm hoping to lay claim to their 'Best Looking Male Runner' award!"
The raucous laughter that emanated from CVSW's mouth was in stark contrast to the wanting-of-sleep aura that was glowing off of her. Tapping my head like my teachers used to do to me as a little child whenever I was able to read three words in a row without stuttering, CVSW smiled, turned back to the inviting bed and muttered, "I wouldn't get too nervous about your speech..."
I left our apartment early to get a hot-off-the-press copy of the December edition of Runners World and, bursting with excitement after purchasing one, I flipped through the pages...
BLAST!!!!!
Beaten by Craig Mottram, the Australian 5000-meter runner who placed 8th at the Beijing Olympic games!
DOUBLE BLAST!!!
Beaten by the runner-up in the category, David Oliver, the U.S. bronze medalist in the 110M hurdles.
TRIPLE BLAST!!
Beaten by the third-place winner and most famous U.S. runner, Steve Prefontaine....who is not even alive anymore!
I stood in a daze on the corner of the block and watched as my tears spread out over my acceptance speech. For
the second straight year, I had lost out. But, like any good runner, I compartmentalized my sadness, stored it in the deepest reaches of my memory bank, looked at the beautiful blue sky and knew that there would be many more opportunities for me to win the 'Best Looking Male Runner' award. Looking at my watch, I noticed I was an hour late for work. My misery had caused me to lose track of time. And so it was, dear readers, that after losing a running award I thought I would win, I was forced to forget about it and begin running again (lest my employer made me eligible for the 'Unemployed Runner Of The Year' award).
Oh, and for those of you who are curious as to the other awards given, I'll highlight a few of the more interesting ones and you can click here for the full list:
Best Invention Or Trend In Racing: Disposable timing chips
Most Beautiful Place To Trail Run: The Grand Canyon
Must-Have Item For Every Race: Bodyglide
Best Looking Female Runner: Kara Goucher
Best Postrun Food: Chocolate Milk
Best Thing About Runners' Bodies: Legs
Best Marathon: ING New York City Marathon
Best Half-Marathon: Philly Distance Run
Best Running City In America: Portland, Oregon
Looking in the mirror, I began again, "I'd like to thank my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW, my parents,T,H, E K,I..."
"Mr. Petes, what in the world are you doing?"
I turned around to see the still half-asleep visage of my wife, who, even in her tired-state, looked beautiful....and full of rage towards me for having woken her up.
"I'm just practicing my acceptance speech, my love" replied I, ever so slowly backing away so my body would be unreachable by CVSW's fists. "Runners World Magazine is announcing their 2009 'Best Of Running Awards' today in their December magazine. I'm hoping to lay claim to their 'Best Looking Male Runner' award!"
The raucous laughter that emanated from CVSW's mouth was in stark contrast to the wanting-of-sleep aura that was glowing off of her. Tapping my head like my teachers used to do to me as a little child whenever I was able to read three words in a row without stuttering, CVSW smiled, turned back to the inviting bed and muttered, "I wouldn't get too nervous about your speech..."
I left our apartment early to get a hot-off-the-press copy of the December edition of Runners World and, bursting with excitement after purchasing one, I flipped through the pages...
BLAST!!!!!
Beaten by Craig Mottram, the Australian 5000-meter runner who placed 8th at the Beijing Olympic games!
DOUBLE BLAST!!!
Beaten by the runner-up in the category, David Oliver, the U.S. bronze medalist in the 110M hurdles.
TRIPLE BLAST!!
Beaten by the third-place winner and most famous U.S. runner, Steve Prefontaine....who is not even alive anymore!
I stood in a daze on the corner of the block and watched as my tears spread out over my acceptance speech. For
the second straight year, I had lost out. But, like any good runner, I compartmentalized my sadness, stored it in the deepest reaches of my memory bank, looked at the beautiful blue sky and knew that there would be many more opportunities for me to win the 'Best Looking Male Runner' award. Looking at my watch, I noticed I was an hour late for work. My misery had caused me to lose track of time. And so it was, dear readers, that after losing a running award I thought I would win, I was forced to forget about it and begin running again (lest my employer made me eligible for the 'Unemployed Runner Of The Year' award).Oh, and for those of you who are curious as to the other awards given, I'll highlight a few of the more interesting ones and you can click here for the full list:
Best Invention Or Trend In Racing: Disposable timing chips
Most Beautiful Place To Trail Run: The Grand Canyon
Must-Have Item For Every Race: Bodyglide
Best Looking Female Runner: Kara Goucher
Best Postrun Food: Chocolate Milk
Best Thing About Runners' Bodies: Legs
Best Marathon: ING New York City Marathon
Best Half-Marathon: Philly Distance Run
Best Running City In America: Portland, Oregon
Thursday, December 3, 2009
You Betcha!
We all, of course, remember Sarah Palin basing her knowledge of international relations on the fact that she was able to see Russia from Alaska. With merely a maritime border separating Alaska from the big bad Russians, Palin argued, it fell on Alaskans to be America's first responders to an international invasion from Putin & pals. We all, of course, also remember having a good chuckle at Palin's ridiculous reasoning as well as Levi Johnston's forced grin from being forced by Secret Service to love Palin's daughter.
Despite my stronger-than-dislike feelings towards Palin, there is at least one redeeming quality that she brings to table: Palin is an avid runner. In a past post, I reviewed an interview Palin gave to Runners World in which she cited her reasons for running, her running history and her weekly running regimen. Much to my chagrin, Palin did strike me as a serious runner and seemed to speak about it in a much more organized and insightful than she did when being questioned by Katy Couric about all things politic and economic.
However, after Thanksgiving last Thursday, it seems like the divide between Palin the politician and Palin the runner is getting narrower and narrower by the Alaskan day. Because, just as she did with the governor's position in her home state, Palin quit in the middle of Washington state's 5K Turkey Trot charity race, an annual event organized by the Benton-Franklin Chapter of the Red Cross to support local disaster services, health and safety services and service to armed forces. Citing her wish to avoid the crowds of people waiting for her to cross the finish line, Palin opted to head home early, though, exactly where on the course she quit, remains unknown.
And, just as she lambasted her detractors during her vice-presidential campaign without allowing herself to be questioned on live television, Palin also used the power of the print media to
criticize other's running prowess without allowing herslef to be impugned once again. In an August interview with Runners World Magazine (which I discussed in a past post), Palin tooted her own horn once again when asked how she would fair in a race against Mr. President Barack Obama. Boasting that while she may lack the physical strength to take on the President, she could outlast him by sheer will power, "If [it] were a long race that required a lot of endurance I'd win...I betcha I'd have more endurance...If you ever talk to my old coaches they'd tell you, too. What I lacked in physical strength or skill I made up for in determination and endurance".
While Palin was not asked what she meant by a 'long race,' based on her performance in last week's 5K Turnkey Trot, it would appear that her definition of a long race would mean something shorter than a 3.1 mile course.
I'll admit it: Sarah Palin does have one unique ability. She is able to maintain a poker face better than most people I know. She has the ability to sit in front of a camera and, without revealing the slightest hint of a smile, tell the world that she has the requisite ability to handle international diplomacy based solely on the fact that she can see a foreign country from her backyard. She can, with a straight-face, tell a reporter than she reads too many news magazines and periodicals to list despite not being able to name a single one. And she can give an interview to a running magazine and, with pure conviction in her voice, tell readers that she would beat President Obama in a race given her determination and endurance. Maybe instead of politics, Palin would be better suited for competition of another kind...the Wold Series of Poker!
Despite my stronger-than-dislike feelings towards Palin, there is at least one redeeming quality that she brings to table: Palin is an avid runner. In a past post, I reviewed an interview Palin gave to Runners World in which she cited her reasons for running, her running history and her weekly running regimen. Much to my chagrin, Palin did strike me as a serious runner and seemed to speak about it in a much more organized and insightful than she did when being questioned by Katy Couric about all things politic and economic.
However, after Thanksgiving last Thursday, it seems like the divide between Palin the politician and Palin the runner is getting narrower and narrower by the Alaskan day. Because, just as she did with the governor's position in her home state, Palin quit in the middle of Washington state's 5K Turkey Trot charity race, an annual event organized by the Benton-Franklin Chapter of the Red Cross to support local disaster services, health and safety services and service to armed forces. Citing her wish to avoid the crowds of people waiting for her to cross the finish line, Palin opted to head home early, though, exactly where on the course she quit, remains unknown.
And, just as she lambasted her detractors during her vice-presidential campaign without allowing herself to be questioned on live television, Palin also used the power of the print media to
criticize other's running prowess without allowing herslef to be impugned once again. In an August interview with Runners World Magazine (which I discussed in a past post), Palin tooted her own horn once again when asked how she would fair in a race against Mr. President Barack Obama. Boasting that while she may lack the physical strength to take on the President, she could outlast him by sheer will power, "If [it] were a long race that required a lot of endurance I'd win...I betcha I'd have more endurance...If you ever talk to my old coaches they'd tell you, too. What I lacked in physical strength or skill I made up for in determination and endurance".While Palin was not asked what she meant by a 'long race,' based on her performance in last week's 5K Turnkey Trot, it would appear that her definition of a long race would mean something shorter than a 3.1 mile course.
I'll admit it: Sarah Palin does have one unique ability. She is able to maintain a poker face better than most people I know. She has the ability to sit in front of a camera and, without revealing the slightest hint of a smile, tell the world that she has the requisite ability to handle international diplomacy based solely on the fact that she can see a foreign country from her backyard. She can, with a straight-face, tell a reporter than she reads too many news magazines and periodicals to list despite not being able to name a single one. And she can give an interview to a running magazine and, with pure conviction in her voice, tell readers that she would beat President Obama in a race given her determination and endurance. Maybe instead of politics, Palin would be better suited for competition of another kind...the Wold Series of Poker!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
3,200 Miles Further, 292 Posts Wiser And 1 Year Older
Picture this: exactly 1 year ago today, a guy wakes up, gives his wife a little kiss on her cheek, gives his cute little dog a belly scratch, changes into running clothes, runs, returns home, makes - at least what he thinks is - an astute observation to his just-arisen wife concerning a runner he crossed paths with, listens to his wife tell him that the blogosphere would greatly benefit from his keen insights into the world of running, goes to breakfast with his father and little brother who say the same thing and finally returns home for the second time in the still early morning and decides to follow the advice he has just received that morning.
He sits in front of his computer and figures out how to create a blog about running. Once an account has been created, he sits in silence still in front of his computer and contemplates exactly what he wants to name his newly created blog. He thinks and thinks and then, thinks a little more. He obviously wants to use the word 'running' or some form of it in the blog's name. That's obvious.
But he needs at least one more word.
He begins to think about the content that will be included in this running blog. It will be about his love of running, no
doubt. But it will also be about his friends and family and his relationship with them vis-a-vis running. It will feature interesting articles culled from the internet concerning running. It will provide advice in all aspects of running, review various running equipment & products and will take its readers with him on his runs no matter where those runs might be. It will allow readers to see him as a runner, a husband, a son, a nephew, a friend, a member of a gym and an employee. It will show how running can better life for anyone who so chooses to participate in it. At times, it will be funny and at others, it will be serious. Like many of the running courses he has traversed in his life, it will be full of characters, twists, turns, uphills, downhills, straightaways, beginnings and ends. It will take its readers on emotional roller coasters with more loops than those at amusement parks and will introduce them to a life that is sweeter than those parks' churros.
In short, it would and will be awesome.
But, he still needs another word for the name of the blog.
His wife has just turned on the television and he listens to a news report about a taxi cab driver who claims to have only taken right-hand turns in his career. He questions the cabbie's veracity and then thinks back to all the races he has competed in to see if there had been a course comprised only of right turns. He thinks and thinks and then, thinks a little more. Suddenly, like the phoenix rising from the ashes, he turns his head upwards as the realization hits him. There it is!
Turning back to the computer, I pointed the cursor to the empty box asking me to insert the name of my blog. On so, on the morning of December 2, 2008, with my hands trembling and my excitement palpable, I slowly typed in: R U N N E R S [space bar] W R I T E.
And the rest, is history.
He sits in front of his computer and figures out how to create a blog about running. Once an account has been created, he sits in silence still in front of his computer and contemplates exactly what he wants to name his newly created blog. He thinks and thinks and then, thinks a little more. He obviously wants to use the word 'running' or some form of it in the blog's name. That's obvious.
But he needs at least one more word.
He begins to think about the content that will be included in this running blog. It will be about his love of running, no
doubt. But it will also be about his friends and family and his relationship with them vis-a-vis running. It will feature interesting articles culled from the internet concerning running. It will provide advice in all aspects of running, review various running equipment & products and will take its readers with him on his runs no matter where those runs might be. It will allow readers to see him as a runner, a husband, a son, a nephew, a friend, a member of a gym and an employee. It will show how running can better life for anyone who so chooses to participate in it. At times, it will be funny and at others, it will be serious. Like many of the running courses he has traversed in his life, it will be full of characters, twists, turns, uphills, downhills, straightaways, beginnings and ends. It will take its readers on emotional roller coasters with more loops than those at amusement parks and will introduce them to a life that is sweeter than those parks' churros.In short, it would and will be awesome.
But, he still needs another word for the name of the blog.
His wife has just turned on the television and he listens to a news report about a taxi cab driver who claims to have only taken right-hand turns in his career. He questions the cabbie's veracity and then thinks back to all the races he has competed in to see if there had been a course comprised only of right turns. He thinks and thinks and then, thinks a little more. Suddenly, like the phoenix rising from the ashes, he turns his head upwards as the realization hits him. There it is!
Turning back to the computer, I pointed the cursor to the empty box asking me to insert the name of my blog. On so, on the morning of December 2, 2008, with my hands trembling and my excitement palpable, I slowly typed in: R U N N E R S [space bar] W R I T E.
And the rest, is history.
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