Lucy's Running In The Sky With A Spiderweb

It's been a little over a year since I entered the halls of matrimony and, in my speech that day to my new dopeness wife CVSW, said that life was like a highway and that now, since we had just gotten hitched, wherever the road would take us, at least we would be able to use the HOV. lane. Despite the passage of time, T,H,E K,I,D still insists that I plagiarized that speech citing that it was simply too creative to have been my own. While I agree with T,H,E K,I,D as to the creativity and hilarious nature of my speech, I assure you that his accusation is completely unfounded. And the most interesting thing about the speech was that I came up with it no more than 3 hours before I spoke those words to my beloved. You see, dear readers, with the minutes slowly ticking by before the wedding was to begin, I found myself wanting a little time to myself before I would be unable to get any for the rest of the day. I decided to go on one last run as an unmarried man and it was during that very run that the inspiration hit me. I had forgone my stupid Apple iPod and was alone with my thoughts when in ran that brilliant line I spoke that night.

Looking back on that day, I have come to realize that many, if not all, of my creative/interesting ideas have come while I have been running. Not being familiar with the inner workings of the human brain, I can't give any biological reason why this is so, but, so it is. Maybe it has something to do with the temporary escape from reality. Maybe it has something to do with being too exhausted to think about any of your real-world responsibilities and obligations. No matter what the cause, whenever I am running (on a treadmill or outdoors) I seem to be at my most creative. If you're like T,H,E K,I,D and doubt my assertion, just ask Ringo Starr or Gwen Stefani. They'll back me up!

In a recent interview, Ringo Starr, member of the Beatles whose music inspired the Vegas show, Love, my papa's favorite Vegas show, told reporters that the inspiration for his newer songs has always come to him while he has been on the treadmill. Reasoning that it is healthier to run instead of staying up late at night smoking, Starr said that, "When it's time to record, I find that getting on the treadmill brings on the endorphins, and the songs just start coming. I wrote a lot of songs on the treadmill". In a similar vein, Gwen Stefani used running for the inspiration to many of the songs on her solo debut album, Love.Angel.Music.Baby (L.A.M.B.). In an interview with MTV, Stefani recounted the hardships she faced while producing L.A.M.B. and how scared she became at times that her efforts would all be for naught.  Having completed each of the tracks except for the song that would eventually become Rich Girl, Stefani found that the last song was simply not working. She had the words, but the tune simply would not come to her. Unable to work out the kinks with this last track, Stefani turned to working out...of herself! It was that simple decision that helped finalize L.A.M.B. As the article notes, "Eventually, during a brainstorm while running on her treadmill, Gwen got it". Since its release, L.A.M.B. has gone multi-platinum and has sold over seven million copies.

In past posts, I have written about the enormous benefits that can be derived from running. Of course, there's the health aspect. And the loss of weight aspect. But beyond the obvious lies a wealth of advantages which are within each runner's grasp. Running can make you smarter. Running can make you a better employee. Running can help decrease your stress levels. Running can strengthen your relationships with others. And, as I've just explained, running can help you find the inspiration that has been missing for all too long.

As the day is just beginning and I am preparing for my morning run, I leave with these departing words: I hope I have inspired you to be inspired!

I'll Have Some Freedom Fries With My Run

Who would have ever thought that the country which invented the 'french kiss' would find running such an undignified and disagreeable activity? In the country of romance where public displays of affection are just as common as hefty people are in a bakery, who would have thought that exposing one's knees would foster such enmity? But that is exactly what is happening in France in response to president Nicolas Sarkozy's fondness of running.

With such an attractive wife, Sarkozy has become an avid runner and knows that he must always look his best. Though not entirely common, it is not uncommon for French citizens to see Sarkozy running on the streets of Paris replete with his favorite New York Police Department t-shirt. While the fact that the president of France enjoys running is not particularly newsworthy in-and-of itself, it's the reaction it has caused that is quite alarming indeed. In typical French fashion (not the high fashion France prides itself on but rather its prowess for misinterpretation), Sarkozy's running has been lambasted by some in the media as being a right-wing conspiracy, an undignified pastime, a sad imitation of the habits of American presidents and a capitulation to 'le défi Américain' (a phrase that was the title of a book published in France and translated to mean 'The American Challenge'). Adding a little philosophical foundation to their repugnance, opponents like Alain Finkielkraut, a leading French intellectual, noted that, "exposing the boss's naked knees is something that never would have occurred in the time of Mitterrand, much less Louis XIV...strolling is the proper activity of the thinking person, from Socrates to the poet Arthur Rimbaud".

Despite his critics, Sarkozy has continued his daily running routines and has rebutted Finkielkraut and his progeny by stating that, "I am not deterred . . . by the accusation that jogging is right-wing. Of course it is right-wing, in the sense that the facts of life are generally right-wing. The very act of forcing yourself to go for a run, every morning, is a highly conservative business. There is the mental effort needed to overcome your laziness".

Aaaaaah, the French! They'll smoke cigarettes like chimneys yet view running as undignified. They'll argue that exposing one's knees is not appropriate yet they'll celebrate all night when the French soccer team wins the World Cup. They'll claim that their country's capital is the most beautiful place on earth yet it is a place inhabited by people with unbeautiful attitudes towards others.

I guess it shouldn't come as a shock that many in France have taken this view towards running. But, as a runner and as someone who tries to encourage others to live a healthy and fit lifestyle, I am still surprised at how ignorant and obtuse some people can still be in today's world. I, for one, applaud President Sarkozy both for ignoring his detractors and for landing that hot-ass wife of his. And to those French citizens who continue to criticize Sarkozy, I only have one thing to say to you: Au Revoir!!

Extra, Extra, Run All About It!! The Week in Running: 6/21-6/28

Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:

* As profiled in the Wall Street Journal on June 23rd, when he's not ensuring the safety and security of all New York City residents, police commissioner Ray Kelly is protecting his body...from becoming out of shape. On average, the head of the NYC police works out four times a week for a least a an hour. A knee operation three years ago made Kelly switch from running outdoors to using a treadmill while he jogs on for 30 minutes unless his knee is bothering him wherein he will walk on a treadmill at a speed of 4.4mph. When he's not running, Kelly weightlifts. When asked what his workout weakness is, Kelly responded that he doesn't, "stretch enough...I know I should do it more, and I'd like to do yoga, but I just don't have time". Whether it's running down a suspect or running for fitness, it's nice to see that the top NYC brass shares a similar view of fitness and exercise as I. I'll keep that in mind should I have find myself having problems with the law!

* As profiled on Examiner.com on June 25th, maybe the 'Bridge To Nowhere' is actually the 3-mile route Alaska Governor Sarah Palin runs every other day. While she isn't the smartest runner int he corral, Palin is an avid runner and admits that she, "usually write[s] my best speeches
and letters [in my head] while out running". I cannot believe I am writing this, but I have to agree with the governor in that I usually have some of my best thoughts while I am running and can certainly understand what she means. Besides that, however, I tend to disagree with everything else she says.

* As reported on CBSNews.com on June 25th, according to Ian Shrier MD, PhD, a specialist in sports medicine and Associate Professor at McGill University, stretching before working out, contrary to popular opinion, "...does not improve performance. It makes you run slower, jump not as high, and makes you weaker...stretching definitely can hurt people if you overstretch; people do it all the time if they force the stretch". While Shrier is not a big fan of pre-workout stretching, he does believe that warming up is crucial, "If you start running at full speed without warming up, your body will produce lactic acid. Lactic acid can impair muscle function for awhile, preventing you from sprinting efficiently at the end of the race". I rarely, if ever, have stretched before runs and have always wondered why so many people do so. From the way people contort their bodies before races, I was always amazed that more people did not injure themselves before the race had even begun. Thanks Dr. Shrier for proving my intuition correct!

* As reported on BBCNews.com on June 26th, a pair of Scottish club athletes (one man, one woman) were banned from running in the Edinburgh Marathon for life after they were caught swapping entry numbers. The man, running with the woman's bib number, finished in a time which put the woman in the top 10 female runners. After a member of the pair's running club saw the finishing times, he altered the club and noted that the woman's finishing time was far too fast for her. Noting how disastrous it could have been had the man needed medical attention while wearing the woman's bib, the Scottish Athletics association released a statement noting, "the use of borrowed competitor numbers not only undermines the integrity of results, prizes and rankings issued by the sport but potentially has serious implications in the case of medical treatment to an athlete and alerting next of kin". Aside from being banned for life, I'm sure the man got punished in a second way as well: he has been the butt of many jokes from his friends for his lady-like finishing time!

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Next Weekend's Marathons

Saturday, July 4th
Foot Traffic Flat Marathon (Portland, OR)

Are Those Bubbles On Your Shorts Or Are You Just Happy To Be Running?

There I was, in the Bahamas in the hotel's gym enjoying an egg-cellent run on the treadmill. I had been running for 36 minutes and planned to run for another 15 when I began noticing some fellow guests and staff members looking at me. Rather than looking at me in a noticeably positive or negative way, the oglers seemed more confused than anything else. I figured they were trying to figure out how such a small man cold generate so much power in his legs and have the endurance I was then currently displaying. Chalking up their stares to looks of envy, I continued running undeterred. Five minutes later, however, just as the stares were becoming too odd to ignore, I began feeling an odd-textured substance dripping down my leg. Being used to my massive sweating that, like clock work, begins pouring down my body 20 minutes into a run, I knew that it was not sweat running down my leg but a foreign substance. When finally my curiosity overwhelmed my discipline, I looked down to find soap suds cascading down my thigh as though I had just gotten out of a bubble bath without drying off first. Before I knew it, I too had become an ogler, only instead of ogling someone else, I was ogling myself! Terrified that I had caught some new exotic disease that causes bubbles to leak from your open pores, I immediately shut down the treadmill and booked to the locker room to wash myself off (though the bubble bath probably had already done that). When I got out of the shower, I saw that my shorts continued to ooze the evil bubbles and realized that they too had caught the disease!! I had to find my dopeness wife CVSW who, as a hypochondriac, would definitely know what ailment was afflicting me and my shorts!

When I found CVSW, I immediately began crying like a little baby about how I had been infected with some sort of disease that makes me into a human bubble bath. I told her how this virus was one of those super-smart ones that could infect humans and inanimate objects (like my shorts) alike and began asking if she knew of any potions that could cure us or at least lessen the outward manifestations of the infection. After yelling at me for interrupting her daily watching of up to eight hours of reality programming, CVSW informed me that, earlier in the day, she had put all my dirty running clothes in the bath and tried to wash them with the soap products in our hotel room (she opted for this action instead of paying the hotel's exorbitant fees). She then had hung them to dry and I must have come along and grabbed a pair that hadn't yet fully dried. Upon my sweat making contact with the shorts, the water must have mixed with the soap still in the shorts and must have produced the killer bubbles on my legs and in my shorts. The explanation was that simple. It was not a virus at all but rather the generous efforts of my betrothed gone awry. CVSW then gave me a little pinch on my rump, told me how unusually clean I smelled (from all them bubbles no doubt) and then went back to watching her television programming.

The next day in the gym, the staff almost looked upset when no bubbles starting forming on my shorts or falling down my legs. I had learned my lesson once and was not about to repeat my mistake a second time.

Anyways, I think this comic episode points to another difficulty running creates for the travelling runner. Unless one is inclined to go bankrupt paying hotel laundry fees, washing your clothes in the bathroom tub is the only convenient and fairly effective way at neutralizing the stench emanating from just-run in clothes. At the end of the day, this isn't the biggest problem in the world and, once you are aware of it, you can almost have fun with it and confuse/scare hotel gyms' staffs all around the world. Instead of you being the butt of the joke, use your knowledge to your advantage and make them the rub!

The Starting Line That Started It All

It's a 'David vs. Goliath' story about two dueling nations who will stop at nothing to destroy the other. It's a story of Gods, warriors and legends. It's a story that has been passed down from generation to generation for all of recorded history. It's the story of...the origins of the modern-day marathon!!

Many of you probably have some vague notion of where the term 'marathon' originated. Like me, you probably cite some version of the Greek tale where a fellow runs a far distance to deliver a message. Like me, that is probably the extent of your knowledge on the subject and, as you tell your version to your pals, you silently pray you are not asked any follow-up questions or any clarification questions since you know nothing beyond what you just recounted. This being the case, I figured I would provide the full story for you so, the next time you are asked to tell the tale of where the word 'marathon' comes from, you can stand with confidence and pride secure in the knowledge that you speaketh the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

It was a cold and dark night in the Athenian town of Marathon way back in 490 B.C. Almost 26 miles from Athens, Marathon was a city in a state (no pun intended) of restful sleep (literally, as its citizens had all gone to bed). Exploiting the early-bird quality of the Marathon citizens, the Persian army landed on Marathon's plains with the intention of capturing and enslaving the city. According to many historians, a victory for the powerful Persian Empire could have destroyed the independence of the Greek city-states and effectively ended Greek civilization and culture. Not as quiet as they had though they were, the Persian's arrival was noticed by the Athenians who instantly responded and sent their own forces (albeit in much smaller numbers) to meet the Persian army. The Athenian army fell upon the vastly larger Persian forces while they were still preparing for battle and, against great odds, prevailed. With victory assured, the Athenians sent a messenger, Philippides, to Athens to carry the excellent news to the town's elders. As legend has it, Philippides ran the entire 26 mile route and, as he arrived at the senate floor, proclaimed "Nike!! (Greek for 'Victory') before dying on the senate floor. Unfortunately, since clocks had not been invented yet, Philippides' run was never timed and his pace was never recorded for the historical record. His accomplishment, however, will forever be remembered by every 26.2 mile race on the planet known as a marathon.

You Can't Excuse The Inexcusable

We all have people in our lives whose weight is somewhat over what their normal weight should be. For simplicity's sake, let's just say that they are overweight. Most of these people tend to acknowledge that fact and many of them tell anyone who'll listen that they have or are about to begin losing that weight either through exercise or diet or a combination of both. Were you to ask me if I had exercised today and I hadn't, I would simply say 'no' and the conversation would be over. However, were you to ask an overweight person the same question and the answer was also the same, instead of simply saying 'no', these people will go into a long-winded explanation as to why exactly they hadn't. Whether it's a defense mechanism or some form of self-convincing of the existence of a legitimate justification is not important, the only thing that matters is that every excuse causes one more person who should be at the gym getting their over normal weight back to normal to be at home getting their over normal weight even more over.

In fact, to give validity to the invalidity of workout excuses, the American Council on Exercise (ACE) conducted a study back in 2004 to determine the top excuses given for why people don't regularly workout. Not surprisingly, the most common excuse is of the 'I don't have enough time' variety. Though I certainly acknowledge that many people have very busy workdays which leave them with little time for anything else, I have to say that one needs only look to the top of the employee chain to see why this excuse is inexcusable. While investment banking, doctor-ing, consulting and other types of jobs are no doubt quite demanding, they can't even come close to being as busy as the leader of the free world. However, even as he deals with an unparalleled economic crisis, a nationwide health care reform agenda and two wars, Mr. President Barack Obama is still able to get in his workout every day. President Obama's love of fitness is well documented and should signal to the American people that there is always time for exercise.

ACE then asked the respondents what, besides lack of time, was the reason they did not go to a gym on a regular basis. 46% said that gyms are just too crowded, 21% said they would have no idea what to do once they got to the gym, 19% said they are too out of shape to workout, 11% said that the staff at gyms were simply too rude and 3% said they avoid the gym because they are too afraid to ask questions to staff personnel.

I don't think too much commentary is necessary with regard to these findings. If these people are so scared of going to a gym, there are many alternative places to workout. They can do so in the comfort (and solitude) of their own homes, they can go walk/run in parks or they can hire a private trainer. The very idea of not working out because you don't like some characteristic of a gym is a poor excuse indeed. Alternatively, let's just put these reasons into perspective for a minute. So many of these excuses could be said of many different areas of our lives and yet, people seem to get over them. Like gyms, applying for news jobs can be scary as well. And yet, we overcome our fears and apply. Those who don't, are simply too scared to take a risk or don't want to deal with the hassle. The same is equally true for those who don't go to gyms. These people will continue making up excuse after excuse as to why their weight continues to balloon but, at the end of the day, the only ones they are hurting are themselves.

I'll Sleep After I Cross The Finish Line

What is it with the New York Times' Tara Parker-Pope? First she detailed Jeff Galloway's 'run-walk- method of running and encouraged runners to walk during a marathon. And now, in a June 17th article, To Improve Fitness, Try Sleep, Parker pushes the idea that more sleeping rather than building endurance through longer runs, is a better method for improving athletic performance. Citing a recent study conducted by Cheri Mah, a researcher at the Stanford Sleep Disorders Clinic and Research Laboratory at Stanford University, on the school's women's tennis team in which the players were told to extend their sleep from five hours a night to ten hours a night, Parker writes that the results showed "the athletes performed better on all the drills. Sprinting drill times dropped on average to 17.56 seconds from 19.12 seconds. Hitting accuracy, measured by valid serves, improved to 15.61 serves, up from 12.6 serves, and a hitting depth drill improved to 15.45 hits, up from 10.85 hits". Parker-Pope is training for this November's New York City Marathon and has been writing weekly columns in her Wellness Blog in which she provides useful (to her) tips and strategies for tackling the 26.2 mile course. She concludes this, her most recent article, by writing, "We runners obsess over speed work, long runs, tempo runs, hill runs, lactate threshold, resting heart rate, carbs, protein, recovery drinks, stretching, massage, ice baths, shoes, technical fabrics, gels, and about a hundred other variables. But most of us, I bet, don’t give sleep a second thought. It’s crazy, if you think about it. How can we expect to run well if we can’t stop yawning?"

I hate to criticize another member of the press, but I have to say that these tips and strategies that Tara Parker-Pope is supporting are completely missing the point of running a marathon. Save for those incredibly elite runners, a marathon is a test of endurance, will power and determination. No matter how well prepared you are, there will come a point where you have to actually force yourself not to quit. It is an experience where, once you cross that finish, all the pain you just suffered becomes worth it because you know you put your all into it. It just seems to me that in encouraging walking and sleeping more, Parker-Pope is formulating ways in which you don't need to use every ounce of energy you have to get you to the finish line. I mean, I could rollerblade for the first half of a marathon if I wanted to cut down on the potential for injuries or I could simply not do it at all if that were my primary concern. But it isn't. I wouldn't feel the same sense of accomplishment I do whenever I cross a marathon's finish line if I didn't also feel the pain and agony from having covered so many miles.

As a side note, the study that Parker-Pope uses to establish the benefit of sleeping more instead of running more miles cites increased performance in sprint drills which is the completely opposite form of running performed in a marathon. At least in my experience, there is very little sprinting going on over those 26.2 miles of the course.

Anyways, with the clock about to reach 5:00am, I am off for my morning run. How far I will run is as yet unknown. What I do know, however, is that I probably won't run (pun intended) into Tara Parker-Pope this morning. I will assume she is still sleeping.

The Rattiness Of A Gym Rat

There is a woman who frequents my apartment building's gym who drives me insane. More than the Cathartic Gymgoers, Treadmill Walkers and those who seek to heat me out of the gym, this lady makes the gym so unenjoyable that I almost would rather leave than have to tolerate her for another mile. Not only does she ask me questions in the middle of my run in her screechy voice, but she will then turn up the volume on the television AND proceed to speak on her cell phone for the entire duration of her workout (because she is on the phone, her measly workouts tend to last for about an hour with only about 20 minutes of real exercise). Whenever she begins talking of her phone, I will literally crank up the treadmill to its maximum speed and pound my feet on the belt so as to make as much noise as possible and hopefully force her to take the call later. Thusfar, my strategy has been unsuccessful and she continues talking undeterred while I am forced to end my workout early because I am so exhausted from running at such a fast pace. Having just been elected to the Board of my building, I am doing some research into way I can legitimately revoke her gym privileges but, like my attempts at making too much noise, have so far been unsuccessful.

Just when I thought I would be unable to remain silent any longer, I came across an article in Newsweek written by Tina Peng a little over a year ago which put my annoyance in perspective. Entitled Gym Sins, Peng's article provides a list of the nine most obnoxious habits of gym rats as provided fitness club managers from across the country. After reading Peng's article, I realized that the obnoxious habit of the lady in my building's gym, while incredibly annoying and even listed by Peng, is not even close to as bad of a habit as other gymgoers across the country are prone to do (though, the habit of talking on a cell phone whilst workout out is one of the habits Peng has listed). While I encourage you to look through the whole list, I wanted to highlight the most egregious habits included in Peng's horrible yet incredibly HI-larious list:

* The Sauna Stovetop: A manager at a New York Sports Club caught a member using the hot rocks in the women's sauna to prepare a grilled cheese for a delicious post-workout meal.

* Nude Fitness: Two members at a Gold's Gym in Paramus, NJ had not inhibitions to get nude and weigh themselves on the gym's scale. The problem? The scale was outside the locker room and in full view of the other patrons at the gym.

* Creative Blow-Drying: A man in a California gym was found drying his sweaty shoes by sticking the gym's hair dryer into each shoe while he was taking a shower.

I guess when put into perspective, the problems in my building's gym are certainly not as bad as they could be. However, because my gym is not a commercial gym where there are employees who curb such annoyances and ensure they don't occur again, the problems in my gym persist day-in, day-out. We are all residents of one building and, as such, a simple grievance in the gym can lead to a sustained battle of ill will and can give rise to continual uncomfortable situations outside of the gym. For the time being, it looks like I will have to simply tolerate this woman's behavior until I can figure out exactly what can be done. But believe me, dear readers, once I have figured that out, done it shall be!

Extra, Extra, Run All About It!! The Week in Running: 6/14-6/21

Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:

* As reported on Reuters on June 15th, NBC and the New York Road Runners Club, the nonprofit running club that operates the New York Marathon, have agreed to a three-year extension on their broadcast deal. The terms of the agreement were not disclosed but at least my dreams of one day being on NBC have been kept alive for at least another three years.

* As reported in the Telegraph (England) on June 16th, while many criticize my vanity, it appears that Daniel Eaves, program leader for Sports Psychology at Teesside University, would not only support it but would actually encourage it. After an experiment involving 10 'physically fit' males, Eaves, whose findings was published in the journal of Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, concluded that, for beginning runners, "Watching your reflection as you run on a treadmill helps you co-ordinate your limbs and allows you to run more smoothly". Diametrically opposed to these findings, the study revealed that for more hard-core runners, watching their reflection can actually lead to a decrease in performance. As an optimist, I have chosen to focus on the fact that staring at myself will help my running and, for giving credibility to my vanity, I feel obliged to thank Daniel Eaves from the bottom of my handsome heart!

* As reported in the Canadian Press on June 17th, it appears that Deena Kastor, one of America's best female runners, has decided to follow me to Chicago to take part in the Chicago Marathon on October 11th. The winner of the 2005 Chicago Marathon, Kastor told reporters that "I have high expectations for the race...I'm really excited to get after it and lower my personal record". Deena, I wish you the best of luck in Chicago and, should you see a handsome little fellow in a Runners Write tshirt passing by you, feel free to say hello!

* As reported on BBC on June 17th, according to a report from Criminal Justice Inspection in Northern Ireland, people who have been detained by the police for more than 36 hours should have access to a treadmill. Human Rights Commissioner Monica McWilliams has criticised the Antrim Police Station's detention facilities and told reporters that the conditions were "completely inappropriate for lengthy detentions," and that "suspects were not getting enough exercise". I am not sure whether McWilliams realizes that justice systems around the world are based on deterring offenders from repeating their offenses. Detention facilities should have as few amenities as possible and that certainly includes having treadmills available. I can't wait until McWilliams begins arguing that prisons should also have olympic size swimming pools and tanning beds available as well!

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Next Weekend's Marathons

Saturday, June 27th
Jay Mountain Marathon (Mont-Tremblant, QC)
Pacific Crest Marathon (Sunriver, OR)
Rock N' Roll Seattle Marathon (Seattle, WA)
Run Charlevoix Marathon (Charlevoix, MI)
Running With The Devil Marathon (Boulder City, NV)

Sunday, June 28th
UCC Coffee Kona Marathon (Keauhou-Kona, HI)

The Theory Of Relativity Is Simple...For A Runner!

There was a HI-larious scene in an episode of The Simpsons where dimwitted Homer puts on a pair of bifocals and, all of a sudden, exclaims, "The square of the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides". The implication of this statement is obvious. Simply wearing a pair of glasses will make the wearer smarter. While many do in-fact assume that those who wear glasses are intellectually gifted, that assumption, quite like Homer Simpson himself, is all make believe. However, that assumption is flawed not in its end but in the means to that end. Thanks to the work of Dr. John J. Ratey, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, had Homer put on a pair of running sneakers instead of the bifocals, his increased intelligence would have been much more believable.

According to Ratey 2008 book Spark, the Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, those who regularly exercise have a higher capacity for learning and have a greater memory than those who don't. Results of tests conducted by Ratey have shown that a fast-paced workout boosts the production of a protein called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) which makes the process of learning possible. As the levels of BDNF increase, the brain's nerve cells start to branch out, join together and communicate with each other in new ways. This is the process that underlies learning: every change in the junctions between brain cells signifies a new fact or skill that's been picked up and stowed away for future use. In addition to increasing one's capacity for learning and memory, exercise can also maintain those function in older individuals as the levels of their BDNF would naturally begin to die off.

Believe it or not, I wasn't always the funny, witty and handsome writer that I am today. In fact, I'll admit that I used to be quite unfunny. I would make what I thought was a HI-larious remark and yet, nobody would respond with the laughter I felt my comment deserved. My metamorphosis didn't happen all at once but was rather a gradual process in which, like my running pace itself, my sense of humor and ability to convey it through written words grew slowly but surely. And, looking back on it, that process began pretty much in-line with when I took up running. Thanks to Dr. Ratey, I now know why that correlation exists.

If someone were to approach you on the street and offer you a device that guaranteed weight loss and increased intelligence if you committed yourself to using it, wouldn't you use it? I certainly would. I know my dopeness wife CVSW would. I know T,H,E K,I,D would as well. In fact, all three of us have in fact committed ourselves to using it. And I encourage all of you, dear readers, to also use it. The device I am talking about, obviously, is running.

What Type Of Poser Are You?

It is a question that lingers in the minds of all runners throughout most half-marathons and all marathons. On occasion, the question may even present itself in a shorter race. To acknowledge or not to acknowledge? Put a different way, to pose or not to pose? I know that T,H,E K,I,D and I differ on the correct answer and I'm sure there are many runners who would side with each of us. To be honest, it is a question that, on occasion, even I will answer differently. When it comes down to it, the question of whether to not only acknowledge a race photographer but to also pose when you know a picture is being taken of you, is one of personal preference based on how you, as the runner, want to remember your running accomplishments. In a past post, I wrote about how I like to give a shout-out to my dopeness wife CVSW in race photos as I cross the finish line by placing my right hand over my heart. However, aside from that one-time acknowledgment of the race photographers snapping away, I generally tend to run past them without any indication that I am aware of their presence. T,H,E K,I,D, on the other hand, has taken to smiling at the camera giving a little thumbs up (little because he has little hands) as he prances by.

Funny enough, according an article Strike A Pose published on the Complete Running Blog Network, T,H,E K,I,D's reaction to the race photographers is one of the seven most common poses a runner will engage in while being photographed during a race. Termed the 'Ebert & Roeper', this pose connotes that the runner is feeling good and that their race is going well, "The paper Gatorade cup is always half full for these runners who probably have smiling, bubbly personalities even when they’ve just woken up." Among the other poses is the "Hi Mom", the "Ignore," which indicates the runner is "too focused on the pace of their race and the heat of the chase to be concerned with the contortions of their face. Or they’re just simply too tired to exert any extra effort", the "Vanity Ignore," which is similar to the Ignore except it is obvious that the runner does in fact see the camera but want to appear incredibly focused and determined, the "Mardi Gras," which is done by those runners who "pulled a shirt or jacket on over their bib and then realized that they wouldn’t find their race pictures without their bib number being visible, the "Tsunami," which is a version of the Hi Mom only much more exaggerated and, finally, the "Muscle Beach," for runners who prefer to flex at the camera.

Three Sundays ago, there came a point during my running of the Brooklyn Half Marathon where I realized I would not be finishing in under 2:00. With that goal clearly out of reach, I relaxed a little and tried to enjoy the remaining miles of the race. As we passed the 13-mile marker on Coney Island's boardwalk and with the finish line clearly in sight, I noticed that there was a hot dog vendor to my right. As a big fan of hot dogs and as a very hungry runner, I contemplated whether or not I should quickly stop and devour a delicious little treat which I felt I had earned after running 13 miles. I quickly put the thought of out my head when I pictured how my crossing the finish line photo would look with my right arm placed on my heart and my left hand holding a hot dog. I wonder what they would have called that pose?!?!

Rain, Rain, Don't Run Away!

Like Henry David Thoreau, veteran runners learn to exploit the riches of the land to boost their performance to the greatest extent possible. We make up for lost time on downhill sections of races courses. We use the wind at our backs to lengthen our stride and increase our speed. We use people in front of us to decrease wind resistance through the Nascar

strategy of drafting. And, as I did this past Sunday, we use the cool crisp climate created when it rains to rehydrate, refresh and replenish the energy we lost before the Heavens opened up.

Lucky for me, I have always loved to run in the rain. Not the huge torrential downpours, of course. But whenever there is a steady rain hitting the streets of New York, I can almost guarantee you that I will be outside running through it. Despite the fact that my stupid Apple Ipod is at risk of breaking whenever even a tiny droplet of water glances off any part of its exterior, I will simply put a waterproof case over it (or even a simple plastic bag) and will continue unheeded through the downpour all the while Singin' In The Rain.

And the love of running in the rain is not a belief solely held by me. On June 4th, Liz Robbins published an article entitled Running In The Rain in the New York Times which described her pleasant experience of running in Central Park in the middle of a rain storm. Hesitant at first to venture outdoors, Robbins recounted that, "I breathed in the deliciously earthy odor of wet leaves and worms. I suddenly felt buoyed by the tranquility of the setting and forgot about the rain soaking my shorts and apparently not-water-resistant-after-all running jacket". Robbins' article goes on to detail how there is a growing number of runners who have found that it is actually more enjoyable running when it is raining over when it ain't.

Anyways, maybe my fondness for running in a wet environment stems from the fact that I tend to excessively sweat during, and shortly after the completion of, a run (no matter how long or far the run may have been). There have been many-a time when I have arrived home and have been asked by a family member, doorman or passing fan whether it was raining outside. Initially confused by the question since there hadn't been a cloud in the sky, I needed only to look down at my entirely sweat-soaked tshirt to understand the cause for the question. Not wanting to get into a conversation with the person who had asked me the silly question, I generally tended to feign ignorance with the English language and continued on my way. Being as I generally knew the person who had asked the question, I found that my feigning rarely worked but at least it avoided an unwanted conversation and ensured that that person, who now thought me quite rude, probably wouldn't ask me it again (as well as probably wouldn't ever talking to me again at all).

I encourage all you out there to try and run through the rain next time you get the chance. You'll be amazed at how enjoyable it truly is. And, I guarantee you this as well: you sure won't be singing that childish song, Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day, ever again.

It's Nice To Be Noticed....To An Extent!

It happened during my honeymoon in Hawaii. It happened during my trip to the Maldives. And, it happened during my most recent trip to the Bahamas. At each of the hotels in these destinations, at least one person on the staff of the hotels' gyms asked me how many miles I run in a day. To some of them, my presence in the gym 2-3 times a day was very impressive indeed. To others, it signaled that I may have something wrong with me mentally. But, no matter what they thought of my gym habits, they did take notice of it and didn't take me for one of these pseudo-gymgoers who goes to a gym to appear healthy but really ends up doing little of anything. By the end of each of the trip, as I entered the gym, the gym staff would already have a locker key ready for me and would ask me how many miles I planned on running that day. It got to the point where, during a meal with my dopeness wife CVSW, if someone from the gym's staff would pass by, they would greet me by name and ask how I was doing while at the same time ignoring CVSW completely. Were this employee to be of the female gender, I would always have to assure CVSW that the lady was only impressed by my gym abilities and not by my devilishly handsome looks.

Unfortunately, however, in my circumstances, this recognition also comes with one major drawback. Because all hotel gyms seek to offer the best service possible, it goes without saying that, unlike in a private gym or an apartment building's gym, the staff at a hotel gym is responsible for cleaning off the equipment after it has been used by a hotel guest. This wouldn't generally be much of a problem and, actually is quite a nice and convenient service...for most users of treadmills. But, alas, not for I. For you see, dear readers, as I have made mention of many-a time, I tend to sweat buckets whenever I run no matter how far or how long that runs is. The consequences of this massive sweat problem should be obvious to all but, for those who don't follow, let me explain to you. Upon the completion of most of my indoor runs, it looks as if the treadmill is surrounded by a shallow stream. Such is the amount of sweat that has dripped from my pores. There is sweat everywhere. On the side handlebars of the treadmill. On the display screen of the treadmill. Even in the bottle holders. But, because of gym policy, it is not my responsibility to wipe away all that sweat and get the treadmill clean for the next user. I always ask one of the employees where the Windex and towels are in an effort to show that I am more than happy to clean up the mess I have left. Looking at me with a mixture of anger and hatred, the employees usually grit there teeth and tell me, "no, sir, it's ok. I'll take care of that for you." As they're saying this, they usually look down and become further enraged when they see the second mess of sweat I have left by my staying within the gym confines and having the conversation we are now having. Suffice it to say, as soon as the gym staff becomes aware of my problem, being recognized is not as much fun as it had been before. Maybe I'm paranoid, but by the end of the vacation, I sense the gym staff looking at me and not being particularly happy as I inch closer and closer to the gym entrance. They see me and know that within the next hour they will be cleaning a treadmill that is covered in sweat.

Despite this drawback, I am never deterred from using a hotel's gym to my running delight. It changes up the surroundings I am used to at home. It allows me to try new treadmills. And, most importantly, it puts my running talents (and addiction) on display for others. Slowly but surely, I am building up a reputation in hotel gyms across the country. Whether that reputation is one that engenders impressiveness or hatefulness remains to be seen. But no matter, I remain resolute, confident and dry....until I step on that next hotel treadmill.

A Backwards Paradise And An Unruly Traveler

Needing to just get away from our workaday worries, responsibilities and obligations, my dopeness wife CVSW and I spent a week of 'run in the sun' in the beautiful and amazingly near-to-New-York Bahamas the week previous. Last Monday, after I completed an unusually early morning run, CVSW and I spent 5 minutes fighting to give our cuteness pup Philly one last kiss and, with tears in our eyes (the ones from mine and CVSW's caused by our predicted missing of Philly and Philly's caused by the fact that his breed always tears), we made our way to the country that birth to the hilarious characters depicted in Disney's epic movie, Cool Runnings.....oh wait, that was Jamaica....no matter, we were off to the Bahamas!

Arriving home on Friday, I was 7 runs wiser and around 38 miles more knowledgeable about Bahamian locales. In running 7 different routes, I was able to see more of the Bahamas than most tourists (or locals for that matter) and was happy that those miles brought remembrance of posts past to the forefront of my mind once again.

A World Turned Upside Down

In a past post, I talked about the laws governing appropriate running behavior whilst running outdoors. While the law requires runners to run against traffic (thus, on a 2-sided road, you should be running towards cars coming closer). Therefore, at least according to the law, I have been engaging in illegal activity for as long as I have been running. Upon discovering the actual rules, I quickly found myself getting flummoxed when trying to remember which side of the road was legally required of me and continually having to right my natural tendency to be in violation of those laws. Being as my admitted flummoxing is only a few weeks old, it's not difficult to imagine just how confused I became when I arrived in the Bahamas and stepped outside for my first run only to find that the roadways were governed by a backwards system. Under British rule for much of its history, the Bahamians were still driving on the wrong side of the street as dictated by the British driving system. On a two way road, with cars coming at me on the right side and away from me on the left, I was forced to unlearn U.S. vehicular laws and adjust to my current situation. Compounded with having to comply with these new rules, I had to deal with the fact that Bahamian drivers seemingly disregard all driving rules whenever they please and ended up being forced to dodge cars that were constantly weaving in and out of their proper traffic lanes on a whim. While all of this forced me to be more alert, it took away from my ability to enjoy the beautiful vistas in all directions at all times throughout my runs.

Slider, You Stink

Perhaps the biggest problem any runner encounters while on vacation actually occurs as that vacation in winding down. Despite my tendency to sweat enough to flood some small villages, I don't think I'm alone in this inevitable problem. A week of great runs not only leads to many miles of great sights and sounds but also creates a pile of incredibly dirty, sweat soaked-but-now-dried running clothes that, together with everything else you brought with you, must be packed back into your luggage for the journey home. Aside from my travels to the Four Seasons Hotel in Kona for my honeymoon and to the Saddlebrook Resort for tennis camp in Tampa Bay which offered free washer and dryer machines, all other hotels I have visited only offer the usual hotel laundry service where a t-shirt costs $5 and a pair of socks $3. No matter how much shampoo, conditioner, body wash or other cleansing product you put on those running clothes, there is nothing you can do to rid them entirely of the awfulness and dirtiness that are emanating from them. While I have double, triple and, once, even quadbagged these clothes, I am always paranoid as I get on my flight that any one of my fellow passengers will start thinking that that awful smell their noses have picked up on is coming from my handsome though blushing self.

Despite these two obstacles, my trip, like CVSW herself, was dopeness and we cannot wait to run away together for another vacation.

Extra, Extra, Run All About It!! The Week in Running: 6/07-6/14

Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:

* As reported on Duniyalive.com on June 7th, in an effort to raise funds for The Breast Cancer Research Foundation, Cybex will release a pink colored version of their 750T treadmill which will be sold to health clubs, hotels and spas, corporate gyms and other exercise facilities around the country. Cybex has agreed to donate 10 cents for every mile logged on any pink 750T treadmill throughout the month of October. “We are committed to raising funds and awareness on the benefits of exercise, particularly as it relates to improving long-term survival for those who have been treated for breast cancer,” states Joan Carter, Cybex executive director and founder of the Cybex Pink Ribbon Run. While my problems with my building's gym's Cybex 445T treadmill are well documented, I have to applaud Cybex for their efforts in fighting this all too familiar disease.

As reported on Deadline.com on June 8th, Peter Scott, head of agriculture & farming at the agricultural Oatridge college near Broxburn, and his staff are hoping a treadmill will stop horses from being....well, horses. After a wet winter, Oatridge's 35 horses were let loose on the college's estate to graze and ended up stampeding over much of the prime farmland which rendered it useless. Scott's solution? An equine treadmill. Acknowledging that horses need to be exercised no matter what the outside temperature may be, Scott and his bosses purchased an equine treadmill enabling them to, "put them into the walker, flip a switch and give them a controlled amount of exercise". With the treadmill predicted to be operational in the next few days, the horse trainers believe that, "With a selection of speeds from walking to galloping, the trainers can choose to exercise the animals as much as they need". The article made no mention of whether there will be hay and grass placed on sections of the treadmill's belt.

As profiled in the Los Angeles Times on June 10th, 33-year old Los Gantos resident Tim Borland like to run....a lot. In 2007, Borland ran 63 marathons in 63 days, a feat made into the movie, Feat. Feat also follows Borland as he "ran 14,000 miles in 29 states (and part of Canada) to raise awareness for ataxia-telangiectasia, a rare childhood disease with which a friend's daughter had been
diagnosed. For this A-T CureTour, Borland ran while pushing a stroller
either occupied by a child wtih A-T or a with sign bearing the name of a child who had died from the disease". Crediting his success to a combination of being passionate about his causes, his religious faith, expert training and good genes, Borland is currently planning to run 143 marathons in 143 days to draw attention to the plight of the world's 143 million orphans. With difficulty running 3 marathons in 1 calendar year, I have to say how impressed I am about Borland's running abilities. With the ability to run that many miles in that few of days, Borland may never need to travel in a car or an airplane again!

* As reported on People.com on June 10th, Sherri Shepherd, co-host of The View, is trying to change her view in a bathing suit. Preparing to pose in a bathing suit on August 6th's episode of The View, Shepherd has hired trainer Don Scott to help slim her down. In addition to dieting, Scott has put Shepherd on an intense workout regimen including running on a treadmill which, as Shepherd is not shy to admit, she is not a big fan of, ""He's got me doing 4.5 on an 11 incline! What kind of mess is that?" While we will have to wait to see how effective Scott's plan is, hopefully, as August 6th comes nearer and nearer, Shepherd will change her VIEW on running!

* As reported on Bloomberg.com on June 12th, it seems that one man's recession is another man's....un-recession. Since receiving billions of dollars in a taxpayer bailout, American International Group (or, as most people know it, AIG) has had to reduce many of its extravagant costs that led to a running course towards bankruptcy. Among those things? Their inability to sponsor Karl Dunsen or any of the other runners who took place in last week's JPMorgan Corporate Challenge in New York's Central Park. With Dunsen, the winner of the last three Corporate Challenges, sitting on the sidelines,JPMorgan's Sean Swift was able to win his firm's namesake race in 17:45. After cooling off for about 15 minutes, Swift, instead of reveling in the victory with friends, text-messaged Dusen and wrote, "Thanks for not running this year. Maybe now I'll get a bonus." While Swift and Dunsen are friends and run together several times a week, Swift's jab at Dunsen has the smell of corporate tomfoolery all-over-again!

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Next Weekend's Marathons

Saturday, June 20th
Grandma's Marathon (Duluth, MN)
ConocoPhillips Mayor's Marathon (Anchorage, AK)
Niagara Ultra 50K, Full And Half Marathons (Niagara On The Lake, ON)

Sunday, June 21st
Johnny Miles Marathon (New Glasgow, NS)
Manitoba Marathon (Winnipeg, MB)

Running Away....For A While

Dear readers, even the strongest runner needs a break every now and then. Whether it's from the wear-and-tear inherent in running many-a mile or from my dopeness wife CVSW's desire to go on a vacation, every runner needs to recharge his/her batteries once every year or so.

And so it is that this week, I will be traveling to places unknown with CVSW and will probably be unable to write my daily posts. But, fear not!!! Beginning next week, on Monday, June 15th, I will be back stronger, faster and, much to T,H,E K,I,D's chagrin, wordier than ever!!!

Here's hoping all you runners out there have a great week. This is not a goodbye but rather, a see you at the finish line.

Extra, Extra, Run All About It!! The Week in Running: 5/31-6/07

Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:

* As reported on Examiner.com on May 31st, it seems that even hip hop legends like De La Soul are getting into the fitness craze. On April 28, in collaboration with Nike, De La released an approximately 45-minute exercise-oriented album specifically designed to be listened to while in a gym or outside running. Beginning with a neutral warm-up track and then proceeding into tracks with heavy beats and a host of energy, the album is meant to follow a normal workout routine including its normal highs and lows. While the article did not mention whether De La Soul listens to their own music whilst working out, they should be commended by their attempt to encourage their fans to hit the gyms and get into shape.

* As reported on BBC.com (United Kingdom) on June 1st, many of the competitors to last weekend's Edinburgh Marathon were left wanting more....water that is! Once the marathon was over, many of the runners began complaining about many of the water stations along the route having run out of water. Jan Fulton, who competed in the race told BBC Scotland news website:
"There was no water at three of the stations for six miles between 15
and 21 miles". Of the 13,104 entrants to the marathon, only 8,260 finished. Having run in NYRR's Brooklyn-Half Marathon last weekend and experiencing empty water stations, I can't imagine what runners on mile 23 must have been thinking when told there wouldn't be able to get any water at the promised water station. The article did not provide any responses given by race directors and their silence leads one to believe that maybe they too were suffering from dry mouths!

* As reported in the New York Daily News on June 5th, on July 17, 2006, Brooklyn resident Keither Zeier, a member of the Force Reconnaissance, Special Marine Command Unit, was told he would never walk without a cane again after an Improvised Explosive Device exploded under his armored vehicle in Falujah, Iraq. How did he respond to the news? Put it this way, last month, Zeier completed a 31-hour 100-mile ultramarathon beginning in Key Largo, Florida and finishing in Key West. Despite losing 21 pounds and vomiting so much that paramedics had to give him fluids intravenously, Zeier finished the ultramarathon and was able to raise $50,000 for the Special Operation Warrior Foundation, a not-for-profit organization that provides full scholarships and grants to the children of fallen military special operations perssonnel. Beginning the ultramarathon convinced he would never quit no matter what, Zeier recounted that ""I saw the sun rise, the sun set, and the sun rise again...I was running this race in honor of my friends. I would never be able to live with myself if I had quit. I would drop dead on the ground before I quit that race". Congrats, Mr Zeier, on a job far more than well done!!

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Next Weekend's Marathons

Saturday, June 13th
Bear Lake Marathon (Garden City, UT)
Mangum Track Club Boogie Marathon (Ellerbe, NC)

Hatfield-McCoy Marathon (Williamson, WV)
Marathon-to-Marathon (Marathon, IA)
Maryville Marathon, The Chamber Country Classic (Maryville, MO)
City Of Rexburg Teton DAM Marathon (Rexburg, ID)
Daily Herald Utah Valley Marathon (Provo, UT)

Sunday, June 14th
Edge To Edge Marathon (Ucluelet, BC)
Mama Rose's Estes Park Marathon (Estes Park, CO)
Lake Placid Marathon (Lake Placid, NY)
Light At The End Of The Tunnel Marathon (North Bend, WA)
Swan Lake Marathon (Viborg, SD)

The Psyche Of A Quitter

After crossing the finish line in each of the three New York City Marathons I have completed, I have slowly but surely made my way back to my abode. Because of all the road closures, it is too costly and time consuming to take a taxi home and walking is pretty much the only way to get home without having to take a detour that ends up forcing you to travel marathon distances just to get five blocks east. By the time I reach first avenue (living on the upper east side, I must cross the very road I was running on not two hours ago), I am always surprised to see that there are some runners who are then just reaching 84th and 1st. For those who have not done a NYC Marathon, upon finishing, you can't simply leave the park. Rather, you are forced to walk from 57th Street to 86th Street before barriers on both sides end and you can then veer right or left. That slow movement of the weary is quite possibly the most annoying aspect of the NYC Marathon and usually takes upwards of an hour. Knowing this, I'm sure you can imagine where my surprise at the runners still on first avenue comes from. With an average finishing time hovering in the mid-4 hour range, I usually get to 1st Avenue about 6-7 hours after the marathon began. 84th Street is about 18.5 miles into the marathon and the finish line is just under 6 miles away. By the quick calculations I do in my head, these runners are on pace to finish the marathon in about 8-9 hours. I cannot imagine staying on course for that length of time and always wonder to myself and aloud to others (who think me crazy for talking to myself) why these runners don't simply quit. Is it pride? Is it practiced patience? Is it dementia? Since I can't ask them myself (as that would not only be rude but would also interrupt their snails-like pace), my question inevitably remains unanswered as I walk the last few blocks home.

As luck would have it, on Wednesday, an article in the New York Times finally provided me with the answer to my question that I have asked 3 separate times in 3 different years. Based on the official results of the NYC Marathon for the last few years, only 2% of the over 35,000 runners who begin the race end up not finishing it. In analyzing the composition of this 2% (amounting to 416 runners based on last year's results) Andrew Lehren's article, First The Marathon Lottery, Then The Pressure To Finish, provides a somewhat surprising and definitely interesting conclusion as to what type of runner is more easily swayed to quit a marathon and who is more likely to keep going no matter what. According to Lehren, "Elite runners seem more inclined to drop out rather than simply complete the race, and runners visiting from abroad seem more inclined to push themselves to the finish line no matter their time". As opposed to a recreational runner who runs a marathon for any reason other than pecuniary gain, elite runners confronting bad races might decide that finishing is simply not worth it, "For elites who run just half a race, they not only reduce the chance of injury, but increase the odds that they could be in shape to compete again within weeks. Some elite runners are paid appearance fees and receive a paycheck even if they do not finish. Recreational runners have no such consolation". On the other hand, runners who have traveled a great distance to run a great distance tend to push themselves beyond their limits and won't quit no matter how much pain they find themselves in. Because of the time and money spent just getting to the start line, these international runners don't understand the word quit (most likely because they don't speak English but, for purposes of the article, I think it was more of a figurative meaning). In last year's marathon, of the 7 finishers who ran the second half in twice the time it took them to run the first half, all were European. Another group of runners who are likely to push themselves past their limits is men in their 20s. According to the article, marathon split times from last year’s race show that among United States men, those in their 20s were more likely than older men to post a second-half time that was far worse than their first half. About 2.4 percent of the younger men posted second-half times that were at least 50 percent longer than their first-half times. For the older United States men, the proportion fell to 1.6 percent. Finally, Lehren's points to the recreational runners who run a marathon as some sort of symbolic gesture, including dedicating a race to a loved one, raising money for charity or battling a disease. This category of marathoner tends to push themselves past their proverbial breaking point out of a sense of duty, out of fear of embarrassment if they didn't or any other similar external pressure.

I guess that explains why those runners will still be running the marathon more than 8 hours after it began. Despite my usual tendency at mockery and cynicism, I have to give them credit. While I consider myself a very dedicated runner, I'll be the first to admit that dedication can last only so many hours. I have little doubt that, should I still be on a marathon course after more than 6 hours had elapsed since the gun went off, I would quickly decide that running any further simply wasn't worth it. As a New Yorker, I just hope that, for those international runners who don't finish the marathon until the sun has begun to leave the East, their experience doesn't influence how they feel about the Big Apple!

It's A Marathon Not A Walkathon!

I've done it in every marathon I've run in. Much to my chagrin, I've done it in each of the countless half-marathons I've run in. Embarrassingly (horribly so), I even did it in the incredibly short Lincoln Tunnel Challenge 5K. Over the (running) course of any of the aforementioned races, there has come a point where try-as-I-might, I simply could not run another step. With each of my successive strides becoming shorter than the last, my running progressed from a healthy pace to a slower pace to a fast walking pace and, finally, to a normal walking pace (concurrently, the level of both my pride and my enjoyment of the race mirrored my pace in perfect symmetry). And, once I began to walk, I was never able to reclaim any semblance of a steady, sustained running pace at any point thereafter. I doubt there are many runners who begin a half-marathon or a full marathon and plan to walk. I doubt there are many runners who actually want to be walking during a race of any length. Obviously, it slows you down. But it also breaks your rhythm, causes muscle stiffness which makes it that much harder to begin running again and, depending on where you actually begin walking, makes the finish line seem so much farther away than it might in actuality be.

It was with this anti-walking mentality that I was taken slightly aback after reading Tara Parker-Pope's article, Better Running Through Walking, in the New York Times on Tuesday. Discussing her training methods for November 1st's New York City Marathon, Parker-Pope writes about her decision to utilize the "run-walk" method, popularized by the distance coach Jeff Galloway, a member of the 1972 Olympic team. Instead of simply walking when you can run no further, the run-walk method encourages runners to actually plan to walk while in-marathon, "Depending on one’s fitness level, a walk-break runner might run for a minute and walk for a minute, whether on a 5-mile training run or the 26.2-mile course on race day. A more experienced runner might incorporate a one-minute walk break for every mile of running". The article goes on to discuss how the run-walk method is ideal for "older, less fit and overweight people to take part in a sport that would otherwise be off limits" and then cites specific situations where older runners actually performed better while employing this technique. The article also points out that, "taking these breaks makes marathon training less grueling and reduces the risk of injury...because it gives the muscles regular recovery time during a long run". Parker-Pope concludes her article by stating that, eventhough many running purists snicker at the run-walk method, "I’m
convinced that those of us run-walking the marathon will have the last laugh".

In talking about traveling to the moon, President John F. Kennedy once said, "We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard...". It is this same sentiment that underlies any runner's decision to run a marathon. We know that traversing the 26.2 mile path between the start line and the finish line is going to be difficult. We know it is going to be painful. We know that there will be times when we will have to fight the urge to simply quit. In spite of these tidbits of precognition, we decide to do it. We persevere because of the pride and sense of accomplishment we know awaits us at the other side of that finish line. But, we also know that to do it half-assed is akin to not doing it at all. A marathon is a running challenge, not a walking challenge. Nobody signs up to walk a marathon. While I'm sure using the run-walk method would cut back on injuries and soreness, I feel that if you're not sore or in pain the day after a marathon then you hadn't given it your all during the race. Now, this is certainly not to say that you can't walk at all. Many people walk during a marathon (I even admitted to doing so in the first sentence of this post). But their walking wasn't planned nor was it intended. It was the result of their having given every ounce of energy they had. And that, dear readers, is exactly what running a marathon is all about.

While it's safe to say that I don't agree with Tara Parker-Pope's article about the benefits of employing the run-walk method during a marathon, there is one thing she is correct about. Those runners who decide to follow Parker-Pope's advice will most certainly have the last laugh.....since they'll be the last ones on the course!

Race Recap: NYRR Brooklyn Half-Marathon

Last Saturday, as I stepped out into the starless night, I immediately noticed how humidly hot it was. I knew that we were entering those dog days of summer but I was still taken aback by the stifling heat and the layer of grime that had already begun to form on my brow. It only served to confuse matters even more when I looked down and realized that I was wearing a pair of shorts and running shoes despite the dark empty streets that stretched for as far as my weary eyes could see. What the hell was going on?

Oh, that's right, remembered I. It wasn't nighttime at all but rather 4:30am, which could more accurately be described as the crack of dawn. But hey, them's the breaks if you wanted to partake in last Saturday's New York Road Runners Brooklyn Half-Marathon. And I most definitely wanted to partake.

With the race set to begin at 8:00am in Brooklyn's famous (and quite divine, if I may say so myself) Prospect Park and my wanting to drive to the finishing area at Coney Island, leave my car (so as to be able to drive back home as opposed to using New York's subway system) and get back to the start line before the race began, I was forced to leave my abode at an hour that even some ladies of the night would call too late. Compounded with this already tight timeframe, I had to make a pit-stop to pick up Bone who had courageously signed up for his first race of double digit miles. Seeing how nervous little Bone was in the days leading up to the race, it was incumbent upon me to do all I could to help quell his fears and boost his confidence. It was this quelling and boosting that forced me to wake up a few minutes earlier to allow for the extra time going out-of-my-way was going to cost me.

Despite NYRR's promise of having buses that would transport those racers who, like me, had decided to drive to the finish area, to the start line, by the time Bone and I arrived at Coney Island we were informed that all the buses had left and no others were expected. With Bone's nerves now in overdrive at the prospect of missing the race and his body seemingly going into epileptic seizures in response, it was up to me to calmly assess our available options and ensure our presence in the proper starting corral when the gun went off. To our right off in the distance, I saw a subway platform and quickly found out from a race official that we could catch the F rail-car and be at the start line with even a little time to spare. By the time we finally reached our corral, the national anthem was being sung and that time was definitely very spare indeed as we had little opportunity for stretching or a strategy session (though that wasn't particularly necessary, as our strategy was pretty simple: finish the race). Seconds after the gun went off and Bone and I were separated by the many other eager runners wanting to start, we each began running the 13.1 mile adventure that would take us through New York City's largest borough.

Eventhough there were a few things that I had a problem with during the trek, overall the race was quite enjoyable, the runner-traffic was quite manageable as I was able to hit my stride soon after passing the starting line and the organization was, in typical NYRR fashion, quite well organized. That being said, here were my complaints:

    1. With over 12,000 people running the Brooklyn Half-Marathon, I did not actually cross the start line until 11 minutes had elapsed since the lead runners began. In-and-of itself, not a big deal whatsoever. However, because the first 6.5 miles or so were composed of two loops around Prospect Park, as I was reaching my 1.5 mile mark, the leader not only passed me on my right but passed by the race's 6 mile marker which was visible for all of us at the 1.5 mile mark to see. I can't describe to you how discouraging it is to see someone who is 4.5 miles ahead of you and how that sight reinforces just how much further your race is going to be. Nevertheless, I continued on my much slower path and tried to put that sight out of my mind.

    2. Because of the incredibly steamy 80 degree weather that we runners faced, it seemed obvious (to me at least) that many more liquids were going to be consumed throughout the course. Unfortunately, the race organizers did not pick up on this obviousness and, consequently, some of the watering stations in the later miles of the race as well as the one immediately after the finish line had run out of cups. If you thought complaint #1 was disheartening, think about being exhausted, in tremendous pain and dehydrated and not being able to get a cup of water at a promised fluid station. It doesn't make for good bedfellows. That's for sure.

    3. While running on Coney Island's boardwalk seems like a fun idea, in actuality it isn't that much fun at all. After navigating through 13 arduous miles, it's not the easiest thing running over wooden planks that are uneven and unbalanced as well as being forced to dodge nails that were continually sprouting up from those very same planks.

Despite those three failings, I was able to maintain a steady pace for the first 9 miles and then finished by half-walking/half-running the last 4.1 miles. I would have liked to have run the entire race, but, by the end, I was simply happy to finish. Crossing the finish line in 2:05, I only had to wait 7 minutes for Bone's impressive finish in his first half-marathon. We walked back to the car energized by our accomplishments, weary from our efforts, and excited for our next half-marathon.

As I was leaving the parking lot (which involved much dodging of other runners who were trying to find their autos), I passed two dudes who had their shirts off and who looked like they were trying to hold hands. Passing them, I realized it was actually two of my buddies, BS and Rosie, who had also run the race. After they told me that they had finished in 1:38 and asked me what my finishing time was, I downshifted the gears in my extreme car and sped away before I would have been forced to tell them that I finished almost a half hour after them. Nevertheless, I was quite impressed by their finishing times.

Final Race Statistics:

Name	Bib	Overall Place	Gender Place	Age Place	Finish Time	Pace/Mile	AG %
Mr. Petes	8876	5777	3748	770	2:05:31	9:34	47.1%
Bone	8843	6869	4215	918	2:12:27	10:06	44.7%