A Crazy Uncle And The Handsome Nephew

While not to as big of an extent as a grandfather, an uncle's duties, among others, is to give his nephew sage advice if such nephew should ever seek such advice. Whether it be about career choices, family problems, issues concerning the opposite sex or life in a more general sense, an uncle's advice can provide the framework from which his nephew's life is built upon. But what would happen if a nephew finds himself seeking advice and the uncle whom he turns to happens to be an obsessive compulsive when it comes to issues the nephew is seeking to resolve? What would happen if, while in the short-run an uncle's advice proves helpful, such advice ultimately leads to a nephew becoming as obsessive compulsive as the uncle to whom he has turned? Well, dear readers, this is the exact situation I found myself in this past holiday weekend and, while I acknowledged the foolishness of following such harmful advice given by just such an uncle, I also began thinking that my uncle was wise beyond his years and perhaps, it would behoove me to adhere to the works spoken by this revered family member.

Running must be in my family's bloodlines. With my papa, T,H,E K,I,D, my dopeness wife CVSW (though she is not of my bloodline, she is very much part of my family) and Uncle all big running enthusiasts, running itself has almost become another member of our family. Compounded with our fondness for the sport, Uncle (it should be noted that, through some odd machinations, Uncle is actually 2 years my junior in age) has emerged as a ridiculously fast runner who is able to keep pace with the elites in any road race. When I heard that Uncle would be staying with my family at my parents' house in the country, I immediately grew excited about all the insightful tidbits of running I hoped to receive from Uncle over the (running) course of the weekend. From past conversations with Uncle, I knew that he engaged in rather extreme and odd workout regimens that, within a timeframe of no longer than two or three years, had turned him from a slightly portly child into a highly tuned running machine able to maintain a six minute mile pace for a substantial amount of time.

When I saw a plume of gravel and dust billowing from the driveway, I assumed Uncle had arrived and his lighting fast speed had caused the disturbance in the driveway. When I saw that Uncle had actually arrived in a car, I was still no less excited to delve into his mind and find out just what would be required of me to undergo the same transformation as Uncle a few years earlier.

To make a short story no longer than I already have, by the end of the weekend, I came to realize that Uncle may be a tad crazier than I had previously thought and, despite the possibility of ultimately running with no shirt on (a running dream of mine) like the Uncle, began to question the health implications of a regimen based on his. Aside from running between three-quarters and a full marathon every other day, Uncle talked to me about his wearing of a weighted vest (of up to forty pounds) while using a Stairmaster and doing plank-like exercises and his strict diet of consuming only certain types of carbohydrates and proteins I had never heard of. While there are some who think my two-a-day runs speak to a mental imbalance, I have a feeling that they would shy away from such opinions were they to hear of Uncle's exploits.

There are those, like T,H,E K,I,D and CVSW, who like running. Then, there are those, like myself, who love running to the point of probably being addicted to some extent. And then, there are those, like Uncle, who have taken running to an all new level. Pushing himself beyond all possible limits, Uncle has that rare ability to run fast and run far. And, while I am by no means criticizing what he does and how he does it, I think I'll just stick with what I have been doing.