The Rattiness Of A Gym Rat

There is a woman who frequents my apartment building's gym who drives me insane. More than the Cathartic Gymgoers, Treadmill Walkers and those who seek to heat me out of the gym, this lady makes the gym so unenjoyable that I almost would rather leave than have to tolerate her for another mile. Not only does she ask me questions in the middle of my run in her screechy voice, but she will then turn up the volume on the television AND proceed to speak on her cell phone for the entire duration of her workout (because she is on the phone, her measly workouts tend to last for about an hour with only about 20 minutes of real exercise). Whenever she begins talking of her phone, I will literally crank up the treadmill to its maximum speed and pound my feet on the belt so as to make as much noise as possible and hopefully force her to take the call later. Thusfar, my strategy has been unsuccessful and she continues talking undeterred while I am forced to end my workout early because I am so exhausted from running at such a fast pace. Having just been elected to the Board of my building, I am doing some research into way I can legitimately revoke her gym privileges but, like my attempts at making too much noise, have so far been unsuccessful.

Just when I thought I would be unable to remain silent any longer, I came across an article in Newsweek written by Tina Peng a little over a year ago which put my annoyance in perspective. Entitled Gym Sins, Peng's article provides a list of the nine most obnoxious habits of gym rats as provided fitness club managers from across the country. After reading Peng's article, I realized that the obnoxious habit of the lady in my building's gym, while incredibly annoying and even listed by Peng, is not even close to as bad of a habit as other gymgoers across the country are prone to do (though, the habit of talking on a cell phone whilst workout out is one of the habits Peng has listed). While I encourage you to look through the whole list, I wanted to highlight the most egregious habits included in Peng's horrible yet incredibly HI-larious list:

* The Sauna Stovetop: A manager at a New York Sports Club caught a member using the hot rocks in the women's sauna to prepare a grilled cheese for a delicious post-workout meal.

* Nude Fitness: Two members at a Gold's Gym in Paramus, NJ had not inhibitions to get nude and weigh themselves on the gym's scale. The problem? The scale was outside the locker room and in full view of the other patrons at the gym.

* Creative Blow-Drying: A man in a California gym was found drying his sweaty shoes by sticking the gym's hair dryer into each shoe while he was taking a shower.

I guess when put into perspective, the problems in my building's gym are certainly not as bad as they could be. However, because my gym is not a commercial gym where there are employees who curb such annoyances and ensure they don't occur again, the problems in my gym persist day-in, day-out. We are all residents of one building and, as such, a simple grievance in the gym can lead to a sustained battle of ill will and can give rise to continual uncomfortable situations outside of the gym. For the time being, it looks like I will have to simply tolerate this woman's behavior until I can figure out exactly what can be done. But believe me, dear readers, once I have figured that out, done it shall be!