Extra, Extra, Run All About It: The Week In Running: 11/15-11/22

Dear readers, let's take a look back at the week in running:

* As reported in the Washington Post on November 18th, it would seem that my hatred of walking and cell phones when exercising is very well-founded indeed. In a study conducted by the University of Illinois, researchers not only found that people who talk on cell phones while crossing the street took much longer to get to the other side than did those who weren't gabbing with pals but also that, when it came to adults 60 years old and higher, those talking and walking had a 15% higher chance of getting run over than did they non-talking fellow octogenarians. Employing a treadmill to simulate a 'virtual environment,' this study is evidence of the dangers inherent in both walking and talking. The only clear solution: Do as I do: run and stay mute!!

* As reported by a Google news subsidiary on November 19th, maybe a recession isn't so unhealthy after all. In fact, it may be one of the biggest catalysts in helping to fight America's growing obesity problem. In a year that has seen fortunes vanish, jobs dry up and growth becoming a forgotten concept, "some 9.2 million people completed a certified foot race in the United States in 2008, up from 3.7 million in 1987. Of those, 425,000 completed a marathon -- 26.2 miles, or 42.2 kilometers -- and 715,000 ran a half-marathon, according to Running USA, a non-profit group that promotes running. That's up from 143,000 marathon runners in 1980". While I would have thought the reason for this increase in runners during bad economic times would be the fact thatrunning is a relaxing activity that calms the mind and distances it from the woes of the world, according to the article which cites, Ryan Lamppa of Running USA, the actual cause of the increase is the fact that, "We live in a financially uncertain, violence-scarred world, and running 'gives you something to control -- you can't control the stock market or the economy, but you can control your health'". Either way, the fact still stands that, as a runner who loves the camaraderie found in running corrals the world over, I can't wait for the next recession!
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Next Weekend's Marathons

Thursday, November 26th
Atlanta Marathon (Atlanta, GA)

Saturday, November 28th
Mississippi Coast Marathon (Waveland, MS)
Baltimore Road Runners Club North Central Trail Marathon (Sparks, MD)

Sunday, November 29th
Amica Insurance Seattle Marathon (Seattle, WA)
Space Coast Marathon (Cocoa, FL)

Running Away From A Political Firestorm

Who would have thought that running would ever be the catalyst for one of the great political firestorms of our times? Well, dear readers, that time is upon us.

With Sarah Palin's worldwide media blitz over her new children's book, Going Rogue, the excitement over the many opportunities to watch Palin stutter through myriad interviews is palpable. With the world in a feeding frenzy for the next hilarious Palin guffaw, it's not surprising that little attention has been paid to the photo of Palin on the cover of this week's Newsweek Magazine. Photographed in noticeably short running shorts, white running sneakers and a running sweatshirt, with the hint of a smile on her mug (a hint because she probably got confused as to a recent Barney joke one of the photographers was probably telling), Palin has caused quite a little stir with her seemingly benign picture. While most media-types are focusing on the sexist angle as the source of their anger over the picture, as a runner, there is something much worse that this picture represents.

Thievery! In the first corral!!

In late June, Runner's World Magazine interviewed Palin about her fondness of running. A daily runner and a previous finisher in a marathon, Palin, as part of the interview, also did a photo shoot dressed in some of her favorite running clothes. Comparing those photos to the one on the cover of this week's Newsweek, one is hard-pressed to see a difference in those clothes or even in the settings themselves. As it turns out, the difficulty in finding differences stems from the fact that....there are no differences!

That's right. Without getting permission from Runner's World, Newsweek absconded with one of their Palin running pictures and plopped it right on the front of their weekly periodical. Don't believe me? Check out Runner's World own interweb website where it is difficult to missing their message making it clear that, "On the cover of this week's issue of Newsweek is a photo that was shot exclusively for the August 2009 issue of Runner's World, in which Sarah Palin was featured on the monthly "I'm a Runner" back page. The photos from that shoot are still under a one-year embargo, and Runner's World did not provide Newsweek with its cover image. It was provided to Newsweek by the photographer's stock agency, without Runner's World's knowledge or permission".

There an old saying that George W. Bush once attempted to say that holds, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". When Sarah Palin went rogue once by replacing her politician's suit for that of a runner, it might have changed some people's opinion of her. To see her as a normal person who loves to run, maybe she endeared herself to some who otherwise would never have been endeared. But, having now seen her going rogue twice, the ploy is up. The world is tried of Sarah Palin. Tired of her as a politician. And tired of her as a runner. Thanks to Newsweek, she has gone rogue once too many!!

Move Over Energizer Bunny!

I think Bill Shakespeare perfectly summed up my views towards this 'going green' movement when he wrote the play 'Much Ado About Nothing'. Because
that's just what all this propaganda about the environment really is. In fact, more than being simply nothing, this movement towards a more environmentally protective way of life is actually hampering my life and is costing me certain conveniences and norms that I have grown accustomed to. With my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW being a big believer in recycling and me not being a believer at all, a fly on our apartment's wall has probably been witness to many-a bicker betwixt my wife and I when she demands that I put my empty water bottles in the recycling bin and not in the garbage bin in which I had already thrown it. In a smiliar vein, the 'green' cleaning products CVSW has begun using to clean our abode are noticeably less effective than their non-green counterparts and smell worse than the sweet Windex speel which I have grown up with. Having now looked at a variety of new apartments in which CVSW and I can welcome Baby Petes, I have noticed that all the new 'green' buildings are actually more expensive than their non-green brethren. Even in my professional life, this 'green' revolution has resulted in documents being printed on both sides of the paper as a default which makes it harder to scan should the need arise to send said document to a third-party as well as longer waiting times waiting for elevators to arrive to take me up to my awesome two-sided office.

Having tried in vain to avoid all things green for so long now, I have finally realized that, try as I might, everything is moving in the direction of the greenly-inferior...and the greenly more expensive!

Even my most favorite energy sucking product, the treadmill, has been unable to avoid succumbing to the strength of the green movement. Recently, Woodway, maker of some of the best treadmills available, released pictures of their upcoming 'green' treadmill, the SpeedBoard. In many instances, people will argue that green products are better because not only do they not hurt the environment but also because they're no different from the non-green version of the same thing. Well, dear readers, not so with the SpeedBoard. Unlike the standard treadmill that I, and many other runners, have grown accustomed to, the SpeedBoard is the world's first non-motorized treadmill that derives its power from....you! Shaped like the letter 'U', the SpeedBoard "features a radical curved shape and a running belt made of 60 individual rubber slats, which move on a low-friction ball-bearing track rather than a conventional continuous fabric belt" and allows users to do interval training by running up the sloped front, running flat on the mid-belt area or even running downhill on the back portion.

With the ability to generate enough power to even have a lit-up console that shows speed, distance and time just like any normal treadmill, the SpeedBoard sounds almost too good to be true. And that's exactly what it may be. You see, as with all other 'green' products I have seen, the SpeedBoard comes with a price tag of $5,500 which is in the area of twice as much as a conventional motorized treadmill.

In the end, I wonder if all these 'green' products are better for the environment not because of their ingredients but because they bankrupt their owners to the point where those owners won't be able to afford doing harmful things to the environment in the first place. Call me an anti-environmentalist or what you will but, for the moment, I'm sticking with the status quo!

Running To A New Home

Despite all the problems I’ve had with various residents in my apartment building’s gym and despite many hurdles that I have had to overcome to enjoy the use of my building’s fitness facilities, never once have I said I would rather it not be there. Rather, I’m thankful each and every time I receive a hateful stare from a fellow user of the building’s gym and, life without those stares would be not life at all.

However, soon I will have to part ways with my building’s gym and all the memories (both fond and un-fond) I’ve had there will become just that, memories of the past.

With 5 months remaining until my dopeness pregnant wife CVSW gives birth to Baby Petes, the time has finally come to search for an abode that can accommodate the newest member of our family while still giving CVSW and I a little space to ourselves (and, in so doing, allow for the eventual arrival of a 2^nd Baby Petes). For the past month or so, CVSW and I have been on a whirlwind tour of Manhattan searching for that perfect place where our family can grow together, laugh as one and run as a team. And while, obviously, more space is our biggest concern, just because I have to stop running for a few moments to take a look at all available spaces, running itself is never far from my mind.

Upon entering any of the new spaces we’ve looked at, the seller’s broker will inevitably accost us to sell us on all the virtues of the apartment both hidden and in plain sight. For those apartments that pass muster in terms of the actual space and much to the chagrin of my betrothed, I’ll cut the broker off in mid-sentence and will proceed to launch into the following soliloquy in regards to the secondary concerns most important to me:

“Allow me to stop you right there, Broker. Before I even begin to consider whether my lovely wife and I should begin to think about possibly purchasing this space, let’s me ask you a few questions.”

Looking at CVSW, whose cheeks have noticeably become red with love (or, as she puts it, embarrassment), with a confused look on her face, the broker usually tells me to ask her whatever questions I have.

“I wasn’t looking for your permission, Broker, but that’s kind of you to allow me to ask my questions. First of all, is there a fitness facility somewhere within the confines of this building that is available for its residents?”

Now appearing more relaxed at the seemingly easy question, the broker will tell me that, indeed, there is a gym in the building for all residents, usually at no additional cost. With that out of the way, most brokers think my questions have been answered and will begin to walk away to talk to other potential buyers of the space.

“You may have answered my question, but it was but one of many I have. Do tell me, broker, is this gym available 24-hours or are there certain operating hours?”

Of the 18 apartments I have seen so far, not one broker has been able to answer that question. While they’ve told me that they can go check, I have yet to get a concrete answer during my visits as to the normal operating hours of these apartment gyms.

Among my other runner-influenced issues when deciding which apartment will suit my needs, are:

- Are the floors think enough to support a treadmill should I decide to put one in my bedroom, living room or any other space?

- Will the electrical outlets supply enough electricity to give a treadmill the requisite juice it needs to run (pun intended) properly?

- If there isn’t a gym in the building, where is the closest gym and does the building have any arrangements worked out (again, pun intended) with the gym in which the residents of the building will receive any discounts?

- What is the building’s policy on allowing resident’s personal trainers access to the gym?

- Does the building plan on establishing time limits in the use of the cardio equipment?

By the time I’ve completed my ‘issues list,’ I kindly thank the broker, who has usually become anything but kind, and tell her/him that I will consider the apartment and will let them know.

Like the lawyer who sifts through reams of paper when conducting their due diligence, any serious runner must also do their own form of due diligence when considering where to live. And, like running marathon, finding the best apartment tests your endurance, stamina and mental and physical toughness. But in the end, no matter whether you’re crossing the finish line after running 26.2 miles or laying in bed in your new apartment, all the work that got you to where you are will most definitely have been worth it.

A Sweaty Proposition

Sometime in March of 2007, I had come to the decision that I wanted my main squeeze CVS to become my dopeness wife CVSW. Similar to my wearing of black running sneakers, I wanted my proposal to stand out from the pack and not to go down the normal route of going to a fine meal and proposing there or simply in our shared abode. I gave it some thought and come to the conclusion that proposing at mile 18 (the closest point of the marathon route to where we lived and, thus, the place where CVS was set to cheer me on) of November's New York City Marathon was the perfect spot to do it. What better way to not only surprise my girlfriend but also to get some much needed adrenaline at the point in the marathon where adrenaline is in particularly low quantities (at least based on my previous experiences with the NYC Marathon).

As March turned to April and April to May, my growing excitement that my plan was slowly coming to fruition filled me with a child-like giddiness that I had not felt since T,H,E K,I,D and I were tots. Unfortunately, by the time June came around, my plan had run into many kinks which ultimately signaled the premature end to any plans of proposing in the middle of a marathon.

The first impediment came as the logistics of my plan were worked out. Given the fact that a marriage proposal is a private matter and many people choose not to be surrounded by friends, family and strangers alike during it, I knew it would be difficult to get CVS alone to ask her to be my betrothed. With my family also set to meet me at mile 18, I couldn't exactly ask my family to make themselves scarce as they saw me approaching. Thus, any marriage proposal that would take place along the course would lose the element of privacy that I knew CVS would want. Secondly, with my tendency to sweat buckets during any race, not the least of which being a marathon, there wasn't really a clean way I could give CVS an engagement ring without it being drenched in the manifestation of the psychical exertion I had put forth for the first 18 miles of the 26.2 mile race. The proposal would not have been as nice had if CVS' face had been riddled with the look of disgust that follows from her having to touch something which she would find less than appealing. The final logistical impediment came from the fact that, with 8 miles left in the marathon, I would quickly have to leave my fiancee after the proposal if I had any chance of being able to run the rest of the course. For those of you who have also had to stop for a few minutes along a marathon course, you'll agree that it is incredibly difficult to start running again after stopping for any longer than a few seconds.

The other impediment that stopped my plan in its tracks was the fact that I had just received Bone's wedding invitation and saw that his wedding would be held a week after the running of the NYC Marathon. Not wanting to steal any of Bone's nuptial spotlights with my engagement, a proposal less than a week before his marriage seemed not to be the best idea.

In the end, CVS became CVSW-elect in late July after she had finished taking the New York State Bar exam and the rest, as they say, is history. It turned out that my intuition of the unworkability of proposing during a marathon turned out to be well founded indeed. Only a few weeks into our engagement, after I told CVSW of my plans, she told me that she was quite happy that I chose my back-up plan.

Funny enough, however, not everybody would agree with CVSW. You see, dear readers, for those of you who were spectators at mile 16 of this year's NYC Marathon a couple of weeks ago, you were treated to a version of my plan in motion. As reported on Gothamist.com on November 2nd, one runner actually went through with proposing to his lady along the marathon course just after mile 16. While the stunned lady accepted the proposal, very little is known about who this creative man is and how long he had been planning to do this.

More than two years after the fact, I still always think how awesome it would have been to propose during the New York City Marathon. More than thinking about the actual proposal, however, I always wonder whether, had CVS denied my request to become my bride, I would have shrugged it off and continued with the last 8 miles of the marathon. Hmmmm.....

A Course Too Slowly Covered

Ask yourself this question: What do the designated hitter the three-point line and barefoot running all have in common? Well, for purists of baseball, basketball and running, those three things represent an affront to history and tradition. They symbolize efforts to modernize that which many feel needs no modernization.

While traditionalists have lamented any or all of these changes to sports that date back as far back as recorded time, those of the more modern view wax poetic about change being the necessary catalyst to take away the old and replace with the newer, more modernized old and being yesterday’s sports into today’s culture.

Despite these seemingly endless conflicts and, with no resolution in sight, at least we, as sporting participants, can recognize that no matter whether one can make a 3-point basket, run with shoes or without or never take the field except with a bat in your hands, at the end of the day, these sports still remain largely intact and the same skills that were required long ago are still required today to be successful.

Unfortunately, there is a growing cabal of ‘runners’ these days who is trying to fundamentally challenge what is means to run a marathon and are trying to change the long-held wisdom dictating that running a marathon means averaging a pace that above walking speeds (note: for purposes of this post, I will define above walking speeds at a 13 minute/mile which is the point at which turn from fast walking to slow running) . Unlike barefoot running, where at least there is running being done, this new outgrowth of runners , led by such people as the New York Times’ Tara Parker-Pope, is trying to argue that, “covering the 26.2 miles is the crux of the accomplishment [completing a marathon], no matter the pace. They say that marathons inspire people to get off their couches, if only to cross off an item on the Things to Do Before I Die list”.

In Plodders Have A Place, But Is It In A Marathon, the New York Times' Juliet Macur discusses this growing group of incredibly slow participants in marathons and questions whether they add to or detract from one’s overall marathon experience. Having trained for months on end and having fought through pain, weather and even more pain, many people who have finished a marathon in a running pace find that those people who finish marathons with times in excess of 6 hours (and slower average pace than 13 minutes per mile) are diminishing the accomplishment that goes along with running a marathon. Succinctly summarizing the views of the real runners, Adrienne Wald, the women’s cross-country coach at the College of New Rochelle, who ran her first marathon in 1984 told Marcus that, “It’s a joke to run a marathon by walking every other mile or by finishing in six, seven, eight hours…It used to be that running a marathon was worth something — there used to be a pride saying that you ran a marathon, but not anymore. Now it’s, ‘How low is the bar?’”

For the sake of full disclosure, I'm happy to admit that, at times, I too have walked along a marathon course. But the difference between me and people like Tara Parker-Pope is that I never actually plan to walk and can guarantee that, were I still on the marathon course after the 6-hour mark, I would stop and go home. In a past post, I actually commented on the uselessness of walking a marathon. A marathon is a test of endurance and, more to the point, is a running test. It is not a walkathon and anybody who thinks differently is most likely one of these people who finishes a marathon well past the 6-hour point.

One of the best parts of a marathon is the incredible pain one feels the day after having run those 26.2 miles. That pain is a reminder of the incredible accomplishment just completed. It is a reminder of the months dedicated to training the body. It is a pain that must be earned.

As the old saying goes, 'no pain, no gain.' These so-called plodders can preach (without the post-marathon pain, of course) until their blue in the face that, no matter how long they took to complete a marathon, they too have accomplished the same feat as the runner who took 3-hours to finish it. The same as even the runner who took 4 and 5 hours to finish. But no matter how much they try to convince themselves and others, they have, in reality, gained nothing and wasted their days.

Locker Room, U.S.A.

Tucked away in one corner of my Equinox gym which, itself, is tucked away on the ground floor of my awesome employer's office building lies a community all to-itself. Virtually uninhabited for most of the week, this community, like New York City, sees its population spike during its rush hours of the business week. While this community only allows entry to those of the male population, its sister community shares is situated directly across from it and even shares a borderline with it and offers the same services for those of the female population. And, while the transience of its population is manifested in the fact that one never leaves its confines wearing the same outfit they entered with, much can be learned about the peoples of this community simply from sustained observation over the course of no more than a month or two.

Having now been a member of Equinox for almost four months, I have made some interesting (and, if I do say so myself, perceptive) observations in my time spent in this community more commonly known as the men's locker room.

The first thing that can be gleaned from the locker room is the ability to recognize who the dedicated/sustained gym-goers are, who the more casual gym members are and who those people are for whom the gym is nothing more than a way to make them feel like they are exercising while, in reality, no real exercise will ever actually be done.

The Dedicated Gym-Goers (including those 'positive' factors possessed by The Casual Gym-Goers and excluding the negatives ones)

- After working out and getting ready to take a shower, these people will pull from the lockers their flip-flops still in the plastic bag provided in the locker room from yesterday's workout (the most dedicated gym goers' flip flops will actually still be wet from yesterday's shower)

- Upon arriving in the locker room, these people have the ability to change into their gym clothes and stow their regular clothes all within a one-minute timeframe

- Having seen it done enough times to know that it's not frowned upon, these people will use the hair dryer to dry not only the hair on the top of their head but also the hair on their chests and back (the most dedicated gym goer is even comfortable enough to dry his lower regions as well)

The Casual Gym-Goers

- Upon first entering the locker room in his business casual gear, these people will first grab a plastic bag for their gym clothes for efficiency purposes after their workouts

- These are the people who oftentimes are talking to each other in the locker room and, with the acoustics being what they are, overheard by everyone else

- After a few times at the gym, these people realize the importance of making sure there is enough shower gel and shampoo in the shower they're about to use before actually using it

The Fake Gym-Goers

- These are the people who ask to get a tour of the locker room before making the decision whether to join the gym in the first place. Whenever I see a person getting a tour of the locker room, I know that that that will be the last time I ever see him (whether or not he actually ends up joining the gym, I'm pretty confident he will rarely, if ever, use it)

- There are the people who will check their Blackberries before changing into their gym clothes and one last time before exiting the locker room (and also is the first thing he does upon returning from his 12 minutes workout)

I never took anthropology, sociology or any of the other 'ology' classes when I was in university. Knowing that you can understand the ways of society simply through being a fully integrated member of that society, I thought it best to take classes which were less familiar to me and which would teach me things that I could not learn on my own. Looking back on that decision, I am confident that I made the right decision. Having been a member of the Equinox locker room community for only four months, I have been able to learn much about its inhabitants and been able to learn truths through their actions.

Ironically enough, and as a conclusion, I guess the best way to tell the dedicated gym-goers from the rest of the groups is to see if they too could write a post quite similar to one you've just read!